I know I have sucked at posting, but I wanted to today. Because it would have been Zen's 50th birthday. And for as long as I knew her, she told me she wouldn't live to see it. And for nearly 13 of those years I told her that was nonsense. I had all the sense and logic on my side to back that up. Not even two years ago several of us were actually starting to plan a big 50th bash in defiance of that prediction. We were going to give her so much grief for outliving it.

We were wrong. I hate that so much today. I want to be at that weekend bash right now. Or even just where I have been more Halloween weekends than not over the years, finding hokey decorations to make her laugh (as far as I know the glitter spiders are still strategically placed all over her house from where they went up years ago and never came down), curled up on the smaller couch watching horror movies together and going to pick up a cake. Halloween kind of sucks now.
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