I do see the distinction you're making! And I'm not even sure it's the lesbianism that's the determinant. A lot of people don't find warmth and gentleness sexy in comparison to laser-like intensity. Hell, most of the time even *I* don't.

Normally my BSOs are all about having giant walls around them (I'm looking at YOU, Benton Fraser). Nine and Ten fit that and I was all drooly over them. But Eleven is the opposite of that. There's stuff he doesn't talk about, sure, but he feels somehow more real. Like he wouldn't talk about Gallifrey unless you brought it up, but he will say "so much" and there's all that feeling there. Ten was Mr. "I'm always fine."

Right now, I find the softness, the quiet statements of emotion, sexier than anything.