fan_eunice | (no subject)

Damn, y'all. This SHOW!!! I am still slightly dizzy from marathoning seasons 2 and 3 in less than two weeks, but I am slightly calmer, and have more thoughts about Fringe in general behind cut. Well, about Walter mostly.

Here is the thing. I think Olivia is fucking awesome. I love Peter. And I adore madly the cast of supporting peeps all around. But this show? Is, for me, All About Walter. Walter absolutely fucking fascinates me in a way few fictional characters have. And a big part of that is actually because of, not in spite of, the horrible things he's done and the consequences of them. I can't justify his actions at all. How could I? He ripped apart two universes by way of the kidnap and torture of children. And yet. And yet.

I don't know, it's like the parent part of me looks at it and says, if that were my son dying and I had that power, could I have walked away from it? I like to think I could have. I can tell myself all the reasons it wouldn't be justified, and it WOULDN'T. But, I'd want to. Oh god, I would want to so badly. And I can't say with any degree of certainty that I could resist.

I'm not sure what I feel for Walter is even so much sympathy as it is...recognition in a weird way, and it kind of freaks me out. And horror at what I might be capable of in the same circumstances. And fascination at the questions his character raises. About the pursuit of knowledge in general. Of science as both savior and destruction. And the mind, both fractured and whole. And, and, and...I have more to say on that but I can't quite get it to coalesce into words. Possibly because my own brain is kinda fucked up.

But, yeah. Walter. I love them all, but Walter is the one keeping me up at night. And the reason I will forever think to myself 'Delicious strawberry flavored DEATH' every time I eat a pop tart. And...um, I eat a lot of pop tarts.

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From Moffat's Jekyll:" It's our oldest, deadliest impulse, the need to protect our own at the expense of any other living thing... and we give that impulse such a nice name. ...Love, and love is a psychopath."

I don't actually believe that, in the sense that I think that's what love is. But we do tend to call that impulse love without thinking it through, don't we? There's so much of Fringe that is an exploration of what love actually is. We can't know what that is really, unless we have concept of ethics. We can know what love is, if our minds our so fractures that action and consequences, cause and effect, escape us.

Walter is learning, slowly and painfully, how to put all of that back together. To be whole, as you say.

Have you watched

beccatoria's Fringe vids?

But we do tend to call that impulse love without thinking it through, don't we?

Indeed we do and...>Walter is learning, slowly and painfully, how to put all of that back together. To be whole, as you say.

He is, and what fascinates me so much is that he's doing so in a context where it is impossible to make it 'right'. There can be understanding of what he did, explaining, but he can't make up for it or justify it. Can't change the damage he's done, not even if the universes were to magically heal tomorrow. I'm not even sure forgiveness is possible. But mercy is.

Have you watched beccatoria's Fringe vids?

I haven't :(. And now that it is a pretty near certainty I'll be vidding Walter and possibly other Fringe vids at some point, all other Fringe vids are off limits to me. I get horribly insecure if I watch vids in the same source I am/plan on using, which puts a lot of amazing vids out of bounds that I'd love to watch. Someday I hope to not be ridiculous like that.

I get it. There's a lot of fannish thoughts and story ideas that I don't actually type out because I feel like everyone else has said it, usually better than I could. And then when I do have something to say, I write stupidly long essays. Heh.