fan_eunice (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fan_eunice) wrote2010-06-09 06:53 pm
fan_eunice) wrote2010-06-09 06:53 pm
Gotta rant
Mentioned to a friend my issues when I needed to buy a top for the kiddo's graduation, and it brought up some unresolved ANGER, so I feel the need to do a public howling. We're gonna talk about my breasts again, or rather the lack of them. Because here's the thing about the pressure to either reconstruct or wear fake boobs of some kind post-mastectomy. It goes beyond what happens at surgery time and the assumptions made after.
It's what happens when you just want to wear a pretty top for your kid's graduation. Normally this is not an issue for me, since t-shirts and button ups are fine. But what if you're not me and have never stopped in the men's department at Target and thought "Why, I could wear that!" Yeah, you're pretty much shit out of luck unless you're willing to go fake. There are almost no post mastectomy women's clothing that does not assume a stuffed bra. And what little that is available is lacking in selection and is pricey as hell.
For me, it was a matter of having to constantly hike up a shirt that kept slipping where nothing was, and threatening to show off my scars to the world for a few hours before I could go home and throw a t-shirt on. But what if you needed formal work clothes? Or if you actually like to attend fancy dinner parties. Or just like to get your girl on? Can you actually be said to have options? Not really. Not many. And that's fucked up. That's a different kind of pressure, an ongoing one that you can't escape as long as you, y'know, wear clothes. Go on, type 'post-mastectomy clothing' into google. Have fun trudging through page after page of information on custom *breast form pockets* and mastectomy *bras*. Even the goddamn *nightgowns* have pockets for 'soft breast forms'. You aren't even allowed to SLEEP without the appearance of breasts.
True story, the mastectomy recovery camisole I had that was designed to be worn THE DAY AFTER SURGERY had pockets and soft breast forms. I couldn't find one that didn't. Think about that for a second. Just think about it. Think about what's being said to a woman who is recovering from major surgery and is being told that one of her concerns should be whether or not the people watching her puke in pain can see mounds on her chest or not. Tell me that's not wrong.
It's what happens when you just want to wear a pretty top for your kid's graduation. Normally this is not an issue for me, since t-shirts and button ups are fine. But what if you're not me and have never stopped in the men's department at Target and thought "Why, I could wear that!" Yeah, you're pretty much shit out of luck unless you're willing to go fake. There are almost no post mastectomy women's clothing that does not assume a stuffed bra. And what little that is available is lacking in selection and is pricey as hell.
For me, it was a matter of having to constantly hike up a shirt that kept slipping where nothing was, and threatening to show off my scars to the world for a few hours before I could go home and throw a t-shirt on. But what if you needed formal work clothes? Or if you actually like to attend fancy dinner parties. Or just like to get your girl on? Can you actually be said to have options? Not really. Not many. And that's fucked up. That's a different kind of pressure, an ongoing one that you can't escape as long as you, y'know, wear clothes. Go on, type 'post-mastectomy clothing' into google. Have fun trudging through page after page of information on custom *breast form pockets* and mastectomy *bras*. Even the goddamn *nightgowns* have pockets for 'soft breast forms'. You aren't even allowed to SLEEP without the appearance of breasts.
True story, the mastectomy recovery camisole I had that was designed to be worn THE DAY AFTER SURGERY had pockets and soft breast forms. I couldn't find one that didn't. Think about that for a second. Just think about it. Think about what's being said to a woman who is recovering from major surgery and is being told that one of her concerns should be whether or not the people watching her puke in pain can see mounds on her chest or not. Tell me that's not wrong.
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*hugs*
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Every now and then I get reminded and then I just have to be all...woah, this shit is fucked. up.
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Someone who can actually sew should fucking run with this idea on Etsy.
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::hands you a match::
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*angry face of anger*
Re: *angry face of anger*
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What about a man's Chinese jacket, something like this:
Pretty, soft, and not built around tits. Some of the women's jackets are also built straight up and down as I recall...
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Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. :(