fan_eunice (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fan_eunice) wrote2012-01-27 07:40 am
fan_eunice) wrote2012-01-27 07:40 am
(no subject)
*yawns and slurps down coffee*
Morning, y'all! More festivid watching today (curtailed yesterday on account of living in the mountains means some days my internet bounces like a motherfucker, making it difficult to watch anything that streams)
Also, I take back every confused and suspicious thing I ever said about Tumblr. It's made of kittens. Literally.
And between festivids and Tumblr, I'm starting to put a finger on what my damage is regarding fandom lately. What I have missed, really missed was interacting with the sources that brought me to fandom in the first place. I have a hard time with one on one interaction with people. I have an even harder time with complex social groups. Fandom became a way in precisely because it allowed me to approach those things sideways, through this other thing we were doing. Like, you know how toddlers make friends by playing with toys side by side? I never outgrew that phase. I love that it's allowed me to make the kinds of human connections and close friends I wouldn't have otherwise. I don't want to give those up, and it would be really nice to have more! Doesn't change who I am or my brain, though...and fandom as a primarily social space, and all that comes with that, really kinda doesn't work for me.
tl;dr...I need to vid/watch vids more, look at pretty pictures more, read more fic and just...lose myself in it. 'Cause it's fun.
Morning, y'all! More festivid watching today (curtailed yesterday on account of living in the mountains means some days my internet bounces like a motherfucker, making it difficult to watch anything that streams)
Also, I take back every confused and suspicious thing I ever said about Tumblr. It's made of kittens. Literally.
And between festivids and Tumblr, I'm starting to put a finger on what my damage is regarding fandom lately. What I have missed, really missed was interacting with the sources that brought me to fandom in the first place. I have a hard time with one on one interaction with people. I have an even harder time with complex social groups. Fandom became a way in precisely because it allowed me to approach those things sideways, through this other thing we were doing. Like, you know how toddlers make friends by playing with toys side by side? I never outgrew that phase. I love that it's allowed me to make the kinds of human connections and close friends I wouldn't have otherwise. I don't want to give those up, and it would be really nice to have more! Doesn't change who I am or my brain, though...and fandom as a primarily social space, and all that comes with that, really kinda doesn't work for me.
tl;dr...I need to vid/watch vids more, look at pretty pictures more, read more fic and just...lose myself in it. 'Cause it's fun.
no subject
Fandom has definitely made me more social, but deep down I'm still a socially-inept introvert, and interacting with people will always make me anxious, even small numbers of people I love like pie. And, yeah, source/remixing is what it's really all about for me (no offense to any of my awesome friends).
no subject
If it's about meeting people who share the same interests for social purposes? I turn into a big ball of anxiety and worry more about what they think of me, and my place in the social structure, and am I doing it right? And, and, and.
It's not that I don't want the people! I do! Just...I have to back into it.
no subject
You've gotten farther than I have but I appreciate where you're coming from in regards to interacting with a few individuals as opposed to the larger community. I wish I could be more a member of that community, but I am who I am.