fan_eunice | (no subject)

So I've been fighting off a serious depressive swing both for stupid brain and other reasons...but that's boring.

What's not boring is that I've spent this time on the couch rewatching most of Buffy. God, I miss it, I really, really do. A few random observations from this rewatch,

1. Buffy/Spike/Angel, still my original OT3 and going just as strong as it ever was. More surprising to me is how much I am buying into the Buffy/Angel part of it. Back in the day it was the weakest link in my OT3dom which I grew to appreciate more as time went on, but never my first choice. This time out I'm all over the melodramatic pathos and passion of all the early stuff, and I can't say why. It still works best if in my head Spike is standing right there rolling his eyes and whacking them both upside the head with some well timed sarcasm when it gets too...too. But, yeah. I was, like, eating that shit up with a spoon along with my pint of depression ice cream.

2. Speaking of Buffy ships, the Riley storyline still kills me. I am of the (unpopular? maybe?) opinion that Riley very well could have been the long haul guy if he hadn't gotten in his own way. It's like he's in this vicious cycle where he's convinced himself how it's going to end and therefore reads everything through that lens, which convinces him that he was right which leads to even less confidence and that way lies back alley vampire prostitutes. Oh Riley, you and your adorable floppy hair. I'm glad he found his confidence and happiness elsewhere, but it really didn't have to end that way.

3. The seeds of Willow's self destruction are well and truly planted as early as season 1. I may have quibbles with the season 6 execution of some of it, but that path was not sudden, nor should it have been unexpected.

4. Most surprising of all, and I'm still trying to tease it out...wrap my brain around it. It's been years since I last watched season 6 in any concentrated capacity and...okay, when it aired I was not yet 30 and the mother of a 9 year old. And I was furious at Giles for leaving. Furious. And...I am now pushing 40 and the mother of a 20 year old who had an absolutely disastrous freshman year at college and...I get it now. I get it. Why he felt he had to leave and why he did. He wasn't nearly as wrong as I thought he was. I'm not sure what to do with that. I may need to post again about this when I do wrap my brain around it.

Possibly more random thoughts on Buffy that no one will care about coming at some point. Also, I have vids I need to be working on when I actually get off the couch. But, hey...went for an actual walk today and talked to another person, so maybe I'm coming out of it soon?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I didn't come into Buffy until its sixth season, but I devoured all the past episodes. I love Riley. Love him to pieces. He's adorable. He's also a gigantic idiot, but if I can love Xander (who is also a dumbass), I can love Riley as well.

Good luck on all of those vids! I look forward to seeing all of them. If you need a beta or whatever, I am available.

I <3 Riley. Always have :) And I actually really liked him with Buffy until he lost his shit. I can understand where he was coming from, which is what makes it so painful to watch, because I've totally lost friends that way too. Convinced myself that they didn't really like me or whatever and then acted accordingly, which just made things worse until bringing about the very thing I was freaked out about happening. I tend to watch most of the Riley season 5 stuff from between my fingers going "Oh, Riley...no, pumpkin, no"

I will always, always, always care about your random thoughts on Buffy. Just FYI. ♥

You know I just make these posts because I know you'll bring out your Buffy icons :D :D :D

*smooshes*

oh man, when I rewatched BtVS several years ago, years after I was actually in the fandom, I was completely taken aback by how much I loved Buffy/Angel. They had way more depth than I realized at the time, and way more sense of humor. And I liked Riley the first time around but mostly ignored him; when I rewatched I totally fell in love with his floppy little face. That show holds up so well, it's amazing.

It really, really does hold up well. In some ways better than at the time for me, because at the time is colored by the, shall we say, intensity of the fannish climate surrounding it.

Like, particularly on the subject of Angel and Spike and the respective Buffy ships it was like armed camps, where even if you were me and didn't have any desire to 'choose sides' the vitriolic rhetoric colored how I saw things.

Liking Buffy/Angel meant buying into the whole soulmate, 4-Evah stuff, even if only by proxy...and liking Buffy/Spike meant buying the whole surrounding Redemptionista school of thought. And while neither really fit how I felt about either relationship, since I always had more affinity for Spike/Buffy for various reasons, and a more severe distaste for the 4-evah stuff, I ended up throwing up a lot more defensive walls against Buffy/Angel.

The Buffy/Angel moments I always loved best--and there were way more than I remembered--were the ones where they were comfortable with each other. I mean, often there was discomfort in the form of sexual tension, but a lot of the time they just really seemed to enjoy each other's company. And they could be really funny, and sweet in less melodramatic ~*~romantic~*~ ways.

It is kind of a pity about the fandom, but then, it often is. *g*

I'm just at the start of season 7 in my own Buffy rewatch and I totally want to read all your Buffy thoughts. I especially hear you on Riley creating the very problems he most feared were happening.

Riley, Riley, Riley...he frustrates me so much. :)

I'm just getting to season 7 today and really looking forward to it.

There's nothing I love more than a random Buffy post. I've been wanting to rewatch it (and Angel) for a while now but Gareth loved it so... I'm not quite ready to go there.

Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

I snuggle you so hard.

I think I'm working my way up to feeling better.

*SMOOSHES*

*SMOOOOSH*

I love Riley, and I have deep sympathy for him. I maintain that he and Buffy could have been wonderful together, if only they had got some really good couples therapy. Seriously, Riley spent his whole life being military top dog, his whole self-image is based on being a tough-guy bad-ass; no wonder he goes off the rails when Buffy totally out-bad-asses him. What he needed was something that was wholly his, an arena in which he wasn't competing with her--boy needed to take up the cello, or learn to waterski, or become an expert military strategist (strategy being an area in which Buffy sucked), something where he wouldn't always be comparing himself to her, something that was his. And she needed to understand why the situation was so hard for him, which she never really did.

I have Feelings on the subject. And I love Riley. I was so glad to see him have a happy ending; he deserved it.

Edited 2012-03-21 15:10 (UTC)

You have many VERY GOOD feelings on this subject. I wish to print them out and put them on my refrigerator. <3 <3 <3

I love Riley, and while I do think he acted like a jerk in the end, I agree that he could have been the long haul guy under the right circumstances. I think their relationship was sabotaged by bad timing (Joyce's illness and death would have tested any relationship) and failings on both their parts, but there's a lot of coulda woulda shoulda in that ship.

The seeds of Willow's self destruction are well and truly planted as early as season 1.

Yes! This is what I was trying to say with "Transparent," all those years ago. Her need for control, her willingness to overlook the means as long as the ends score a win for her side, a distinctly fungible moral attitude...it was always there.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda is the motto of Buffy/Riley. Poor kids. Both of them.

And Willow just...Willow. The thing is, she's just so cute about her moral failings right up until she's really, really not that I think no one, not the Scoobies and not us at home watching were willing to take them seriously. And in a way I think that taught Willow that she could get away with it as long as she had her best harmless puppy, 'who me?' face on. And whether intentional or subconcious she most definitely uses it to manipulate the people around her the deeper she gets in. Adorable is the scariest weapon of all, really.

I really think she bought her own press. She thought she was as innocent and good as everyone else thought she was (even as she pushed against it in eps like Doppelgangland). She thought that as long as what she wanted was right, she could do no wrong.

Most dangerous kind of person there is.