fan_eunice (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fan_eunice) wrote2007-07-17 02:28 pm
fan_eunice) wrote2007-07-17 02:28 pm
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What? Like you're surprised
This is the part where you all whisper behind my back "Good grief is she still going on about Martha?" and start staging an intervention or something. Because yes, yes I am. Blame ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
taraljc for having interesting conversations at brunch that leave me rolling things around in my head that I need to write out to get a handle on.
Here's the thing. As I see it? Ten didn't reject Martha. Martha rejected Ten. He was perfectly willing to continue playing let's pretend across the universe, and given his track record following big losses, my bet is that his signals would have got even more confusing as he flailed around clinging to the rock steady trust he invests in Martha time and time again over series three to be there, saving his ass and doing what needs to get done. That he doesn't ask her to stay is actually a point to him in my world. It means he recognizes that she has every reason and right to walk away and he's got no standing to stop her, even if it would make his life easier (and seriously, watch his face during that scene and try and tell me it's not hurting him to lose her...I won't believe you).
This is where I bring Rose into the mix, because I recently rewatched all of series two while in Seattle and what I noticed this time through was that the Doctor actually doesn't really offer anything more to Rose than he did to Martha. He's more cuddly and willing to skip around holding hands and whatnot for sure, but that's more about how Rose interacts with him than the other way around really. Because Rose is far better at making assumptions about their relationship and ignoring what doesn't fit than Martha is, she's more likely to cheerfully romp through the daisies snuggling and avoiding any real questions about what that means. But I can't help but notice that every time those questions do come up what you get are continuous reminders that, yeah, this is not what Rose thinks (or wants) this to be and that the Doctor is actually on a very different page from her. He just either doesn't want to face it or is oblivious (or both), and is more than willing to let Rose hit the reset button every time she's confronted with it so he can go back to believing the snuggles mean what he thinks they mean for a little while longer too. And please note, this is not a slam on Rose at all. I think she's young, and that throwing yourself into intense relationships and thinking in terms of "never" and "forever" and not allowing yourself to really examine long term consequences is normal and perfectly natural when you are 19. It's also why 19 year olds making decisions that could affect the rest of their lives generally scares the shit out of me. And why the real tragedy of Doomsday would have been if she had managed to stay. Because eventually she would've grown up and had to ask those questions, except her entire support system would've been in another universe. That the decision was made for her, before either she or Ten were ready or willing to make that call is fucked up and painful as hell...but not because they were meant to stay together.
Back to Martha...imagine for a moment that she wasn't so keenly aware of what she does and does not have with the Doctor. That instead of responding to his mixed signals with recognition that he wasn't returning her feelings in the same way, she just...ran with what he did offer up and cheerfully snuggled up through it all. 'Cause seriously? Ten loves his snuggles, and he clearly does have a great deal of affection for Martha. There would've been more canoodling for certain. But she pushes back. At least part of the distance between them is a result of her not being willing to settle or pretend and recognizing when he pulls back, is oblivious, hurtful (intentional or not)or throws up walls between them. She could have just responded by blowing it off, turning it into a joke, and throwing an arm around him like it didn't matter. He would've snuggled back. She didn't. Even before she figured out that she was worth more than that and was still waiting for things to change, Martha was all about the reality of their relationship, not what she wanted it to be. And I think that more than anything made the Doctor uncomfortable and prickly at times in ways he was not with Rose.
In conclusion, between Martha and Rose I honestly believe Martha was the lucky one, in that she could walk away with no illusions. Also, the Doctor is sort of an emotional retard when it comes to dealing with humans. I really, honestly believe that he does not get it in terms of how he relates to companions who have romantic feelings for him. That he's honestly both surprised and oblivious to a certain extent at the level of damage he can cause in those relationships and that he's not so much being deliberately insensitive as he is convincing himself that as long as they don't say anything he can continue to believe that they are actually on the same page as him. And I think it confuses and does cause him pain in the moments he can see it. I can't hate him. I can only feel sorry for him that he wants so desperately not to be alone that he keeps trying to form completely unfamiliar connections and mucking it up. And hope that his next human can love him while being completely immune to falling in love with him so that he can go about the business of saving the universe while being adorable without his human based cluelessness breaking any more hearts.
taraljc for having interesting conversations at brunch that leave me rolling things around in my head that I need to write out to get a handle on. Here's the thing. As I see it? Ten didn't reject Martha. Martha rejected Ten. He was perfectly willing to continue playing let's pretend across the universe, and given his track record following big losses, my bet is that his signals would have got even more confusing as he flailed around clinging to the rock steady trust he invests in Martha time and time again over series three to be there, saving his ass and doing what needs to get done. That he doesn't ask her to stay is actually a point to him in my world. It means he recognizes that she has every reason and right to walk away and he's got no standing to stop her, even if it would make his life easier (and seriously, watch his face during that scene and try and tell me it's not hurting him to lose her...I won't believe you).
This is where I bring Rose into the mix, because I recently rewatched all of series two while in Seattle and what I noticed this time through was that the Doctor actually doesn't really offer anything more to Rose than he did to Martha. He's more cuddly and willing to skip around holding hands and whatnot for sure, but that's more about how Rose interacts with him than the other way around really. Because Rose is far better at making assumptions about their relationship and ignoring what doesn't fit than Martha is, she's more likely to cheerfully romp through the daisies snuggling and avoiding any real questions about what that means. But I can't help but notice that every time those questions do come up what you get are continuous reminders that, yeah, this is not what Rose thinks (or wants) this to be and that the Doctor is actually on a very different page from her. He just either doesn't want to face it or is oblivious (or both), and is more than willing to let Rose hit the reset button every time she's confronted with it so he can go back to believing the snuggles mean what he thinks they mean for a little while longer too. And please note, this is not a slam on Rose at all. I think she's young, and that throwing yourself into intense relationships and thinking in terms of "never" and "forever" and not allowing yourself to really examine long term consequences is normal and perfectly natural when you are 19. It's also why 19 year olds making decisions that could affect the rest of their lives generally scares the shit out of me. And why the real tragedy of Doomsday would have been if she had managed to stay. Because eventually she would've grown up and had to ask those questions, except her entire support system would've been in another universe. That the decision was made for her, before either she or Ten were ready or willing to make that call is fucked up and painful as hell...but not because they were meant to stay together.
Back to Martha...imagine for a moment that she wasn't so keenly aware of what she does and does not have with the Doctor. That instead of responding to his mixed signals with recognition that he wasn't returning her feelings in the same way, she just...ran with what he did offer up and cheerfully snuggled up through it all. 'Cause seriously? Ten loves his snuggles, and he clearly does have a great deal of affection for Martha. There would've been more canoodling for certain. But she pushes back. At least part of the distance between them is a result of her not being willing to settle or pretend and recognizing when he pulls back, is oblivious, hurtful (intentional or not)or throws up walls between them. She could have just responded by blowing it off, turning it into a joke, and throwing an arm around him like it didn't matter. He would've snuggled back. She didn't. Even before she figured out that she was worth more than that and was still waiting for things to change, Martha was all about the reality of their relationship, not what she wanted it to be. And I think that more than anything made the Doctor uncomfortable and prickly at times in ways he was not with Rose.
In conclusion, between Martha and Rose I honestly believe Martha was the lucky one, in that she could walk away with no illusions. Also, the Doctor is sort of an emotional retard when it comes to dealing with humans. I really, honestly believe that he does not get it in terms of how he relates to companions who have romantic feelings for him. That he's honestly both surprised and oblivious to a certain extent at the level of damage he can cause in those relationships and that he's not so much being deliberately insensitive as he is convincing himself that as long as they don't say anything he can continue to believe that they are actually on the same page as him. And I think it confuses and does cause him pain in the moments he can see it. I can't hate him. I can only feel sorry for him that he wants so desperately not to be alone that he keeps trying to form completely unfamiliar connections and mucking it up. And hope that his next human can love him while being completely immune to falling in love with him so that he can go about the business of saving the universe while being adorable without his human based cluelessness breaking any more hearts.