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Well, that was just lovely. Not a word I generally apply to oncologist visits, and I don't even mean it sarcastically. See...the way this usually goes is like this:
*oncologist enters examining room, pokes at various scars, looks thoughtfully at medical chart with serious face*
onc: I see you've been experiencing this new symptom/increase in that symptom.
me: yeah
onc: And you are x months/years out, hrmm. I'm going to order scans to be safe. We'll keep an eye on this.
This time? It went like this:
*oncologist enters examining room, pokes at various scars, wait...he's...grinning?*
onc: I see all your symptoms have been stable since I last saw you. No scans!
me: \o/
onc: And you are (and here is where the grin widens into a full on SMILE) three years in a few months
me: yeah
And this is where I started smiling. 'Cause I knew the significance of three years, but I don't think it felt really real to me until he started explaining it in this context with that giant smile. Three years. It's huge. Because of the highly aggressive nature of triple negative it is most likely to recur in that first three years. Three years is not out of the woods, but it is the point where prognosis gets bumped from 'poor' to the same as similarly staged hormone positive breast cancers. It is also the point at which, every day after that risk starts to drop like a rock. By four years it's lower than other breast cancer patients. By five (due to me not having any breast tissue anymore) it's....lower than the general population. And in three months I am on the back end of this.
I'm deeply hesitant to call it beat, 'cause it's not. My bloodwork for this visit isn't back for a few days. It's not March yet. I'm still looking at a chance of recurrence for two more years. But. That anchor I've been carrying since the pathology report first came back triple negative? The one engraved with 'poor prognosis.' It is weeks away from no longer applying to me.
And it made my oncologist smile.
*oncologist enters examining room, pokes at various scars, looks thoughtfully at medical chart with serious face*
onc: I see you've been experiencing this new symptom/increase in that symptom.
me: yeah
onc: And you are x months/years out, hrmm. I'm going to order scans to be safe. We'll keep an eye on this.
This time? It went like this:
*oncologist enters examining room, pokes at various scars, wait...he's...grinning?*
onc: I see all your symptoms have been stable since I last saw you. No scans!
me: \o/
onc: And you are (and here is where the grin widens into a full on SMILE) three years in a few months
me: yeah
And this is where I started smiling. 'Cause I knew the significance of three years, but I don't think it felt really real to me until he started explaining it in this context with that giant smile. Three years. It's huge. Because of the highly aggressive nature of triple negative it is most likely to recur in that first three years. Three years is not out of the woods, but it is the point where prognosis gets bumped from 'poor' to the same as similarly staged hormone positive breast cancers. It is also the point at which, every day after that risk starts to drop like a rock. By four years it's lower than other breast cancer patients. By five (due to me not having any breast tissue anymore) it's....lower than the general population. And in three months I am on the back end of this.
I'm deeply hesitant to call it beat, 'cause it's not. My bloodwork for this visit isn't back for a few days. It's not March yet. I'm still looking at a chance of recurrence for two more years. But. That anchor I've been carrying since the pathology report first came back triple negative? The one engraved with 'poor prognosis.' It is weeks away from no longer applying to me.
And it made my oncologist smile.
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Yesssss.
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That vid I made was for your birthday, but it was also for your oncologist visit anxiety posts, and it applies right now just as much as then: here's to many more birthdays.
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