fan_eunice: (pony)
( Jul. 20th, 2008 12:45 am)
This has just not been a good month for my inner angry feminist. At all. It's not any one thing, it is really not. It has been a series of things, any one of which alone would not be enough to tip me over into this exhausted and hurt place I find myself in tonight. But it's like, everywhere I turn the hits just keep on coming, large and small...flipping around cable randomly, summer movie going, web surfing, shows that I love, things that I just half-watch when I'm bored...everywhere. Eventually the straw breaks your back. And I hate this. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I hate feeling bitter and joyless and cynical. I just want my stories. I love my stories. Sometimes I wish I didn't. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so much like getting kicked in the head was the price of admission sometimes. But it is. And I am tired. Every now and then all the defensive mechanisms I use so that it doesn't kill the joy, these things I am drawn to, the parts of my stories I love, it all just falls away and all I can see is this pattern, this exclusion, this pervasive thing so deeply rooted that there is no getting away from it. Not ever. And I just want to scream that it is not fair. And then one more thing that I may have handwaved or shrugged off yesterday, or that may not even be that big of a is just too much.

This would be me, screaming into the void. Back to finding the joy later. I'm fresh out.
I'm having a cranky day so I'm making a cranky post. You know how when you are reading fic and there's a thing, a minor thing, that is always a little bit irritating when you see it? And it is a widespread enough across the fandom that you run into it in a broad range of quality so it's not even a matter of avoiding bad fic, because you've read good (or at least decent) fic that was otherwise really enjoyable except for that. And you wish it would go away, but obviously it isn't going to because it wouldn't show up everywhere if it bothered other people like it bothered you, and it's not even worth getting cranky about because it really isn't that big a deal, especially since you can ignore it in good fic and if the fic is bad it is the least of the reasons you are frantically scrabbling for the back button. Except when you are having a cranky day in general and feel like bitching unreasonably. Since I've been reading a lot of SGA and Torchwood fic in the last week there are two that are currently the pea under my mattress.

ZedPM is the SGA one. You'd think after this many years it would stop causing me an automatic flinch, but it still does. Every time I see it I have the urge to finally learn to write fic so I can have everyone in it call it a ZeePM repeatedly except for Rodney, who would be the only one where it was written as ZPM when he spoke. I still don't understand how this happened. At first, yes, I can see how it got spelled out phonetically with Rodney in early fic, but how it became a relatively acceptable practice rather than dying out still sort of baffles me. No point crying over spilled milk, because it did happen, and if I want to read J/R fic (which I do) all that's left to do is suck it up. Except when I'm having a cranky day.

And the Torchwood, seeing 'Yan' or 'teaboy' used to refer to Ianto. Ianto. That is his name. That is what everyone calls him. Yes, even Owen, who referred to him as 'tea-boy' what...once? It grates on me the same way it does when someone calls me 'Becky' or even 'Rebecca' instead of 'Becca' or 'Eunice'. Not that there's anything wrong with those variations on my name. But it isn't how I introduce myself, it isn't what people call me, and if they've spent any time around me there's no reason they shouldn't know that. Nicknames are grand, but shortening people's names when there is no indication that this is anybody's preference just feels wrong to me. And taking a one-off nickname like 'teaboy' tossed under specific circumstances and driving it into the ground is just annoying. Lest anyone think I'm picking on Torchwood, Buffy fandom was awful about this too. With 'Xan' for Xander (he's already got a nickname! It is Xander, argh), and pretty much every nickname Spike ever made up for anyone and used once repeated ever after in fic to the point where I flinch when I see a can of peaches at a grocery store.

So, yes, these are my cranky fic peeves of the day. What are yours? Not the big badfic things, but the tiny ones that can show up anywhere and cause momentary teeth grinding? Any fandom. Be cranky with me!


fan_eunice: (Default)


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