(no subject)

[fan_eunice]

Now that I've had a two weeks to get used to the flatness, I gotta say...I think I like it. I've mentioned before that I was never very fond of my breasts to begin with, but I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to feel about none at all. The added surgery and complications meant I knew I didn't want reconstruction right now for sure. I am a wimp at heart and the options for recon after mastectomy all kind of sound like torture to me, especially with everything else I need to deal with at the moment. But, although I can't predict how I'll feel in the future, I think the odds of me ever doing it are pretty slim, and more, I'm starting to doubt I'll even go get fitted for prosthesis. I'm perfectly comfortable with my chest as it stands, and I'm not freaked out about how it looks. Since the major benefit to recon or wearing a prosthesis is if it would make me feel better about myself, and it wouldn't, then the only reason for me to do either is to make other people feel more comfortable. Which just isn't my problem. I don't have boobs, deal with it. I think I'm actually more comfortable with my chest now than I've been in a long time. I'm weirdly less self-conscious about whipping off my shirt for doctor's appointments than I was before. It's like, before I was insecure about all the perceived faults I saw in the boobage, and now, yeah it's flat and scarred but there's a damn good reason for that and I feel no reason to hide it. Finding a swimsuit might be difficult, but other than that, eh. Flat as a pancake is working for me.