mine, my squee is MINE

The good, my stomach seems to be calming down a bit. Also, my DW squee had faded a bit, but then there were Those New Pictures which have had me high as a kite all morning OMGSQUEE. I think, the big problem with long hiatus is that there is too much time for people who work on a show to blather on with their Opinions and Thoughts, and for us as fans to engage too much in analyzing and debating over it and offering far too much weight to What They Say, on account of there's no new canon to do it with.

The reality is that producers/actors/writers say dumb stuff all the time, much of it contradictory not to just each other but themselves. Authorial intent is crap to begin with, it's bigger crap on something like a tv show where, by the time everyone who's got something to do with it is done contributing...from the biggest muckety muck producer on high down to the lighting guy, there are so many authors that not a single one can lay claim to the truth of How It Is. We hope that all of that works together to produce something coherent...but there's never going to be One Correct Reading. And by the time we're done with it and our own fannish appropriation through fic and meta and vids and discussion it's something else all together again.

It's way too easy for me to get caught up in what they might be producing based on what they say when this opinion or that is just one more in a big sea of them (I do this all the time, which is why I try to avoid interviews and commentary when my curiosity doesn't get the better of me, or when David Tennant might do or say something adorable). What They Say is something I'm free to get angry at, to disagree with, to roll my eyes at, to squee in agreement, or to just plain dismiss in exactly the same way I do with commentary by my fellow fans. It may be an interesting (or infuriating) start point for a discussion, but it's not any more valid than how I see it. And what makes it to the screen is where the action really starts. Which leads to more than enough to be either angry and annoyed or joyfully squeeful at all on it's own. The rest of it..it's interesting and important for different reasons. But when it comes down to actually watching and enjoying (or not enjoying) a show for me, the text is the thing. And I have no problem making the text my personal bitch if that's what's called for (somewhere around here I have a half finished essay on why I still 'ship Ten/Martha...someday I may even get around to finishing it, heh). So, anyway, I can still be annoyed or dissapointed in or wary of What They Say and hold on to my squee. Because it's mine. It wasn't handed down on high to me. It was always mine. Power to the Squee...or something.

In more frustrating news, I started a new vid a few days ago and it is utter crap. I'm trying to remember that time I trashed my entire project file on that vid that I turned out quite pleased with much later, but had to dig out of the trash and entirely recut from scratch, so that I don't do that again...but I am so close. I'm in that phase where I'm terrified I've forgotten how to vid, and that anything I do is just going to be a boring retread of something someone else has done, or will do better, especially since I still seem to be incapable of vidding anything that's not Doctor Who, and really does the world need yet another Angsty Ten Vid? I might go ahead and start up the project files for the Seven and Ace vid that's been bubbling in my brain since I started watching them, and work on both vids at the same time. But there, I have concerns about the source quality and how am I going to work around that, since DVD releases for most of Seven aren't available and what is better source is going to make the other source look worse. Argh. Maybe I'll take up knitting instead.

More news from the universe

So, if you aren't watching The Universe series on the History Channel, you should be because it is AWESOME (also available onDemand, though I think the History of the Big Bang episode isn't anymore, which is a shame because that was supercool). But, this week we have holes in the universe and alien planets. This? This is my squee face.

Holes. In the universe. Black holes, wormholes, white holes...EEEEEEE. How shocked was I to learn that of all my shows that have such things the Stargate universe is the closest to the reality of how we might use them someday? That's a little disconcerting. Not that they mentioned Stargate. Nooooooooo. Point of pop culture reference was Contact which, what's up with that? And there was a whole section on the possibility of time travel that didn't mention Doctor Who once, for shame. Ahem, anyway. Yeah, wormholes. Theoretically possible, very cool, totally unstable and not so good for travel unless an outside force stabilizes them. Phooey. Also proof that math and physics geeks have the most fun of all. Seriously, they get to sit in rooms and go "Hey, dude...what if you could rip open time and space and leap through it and warp the fabric of reality? Lets pretend with math!" Theoretical physics is fanfic with numbers. All it's missing is the porn.

I'm also pleased to learn that when that inevitable moment comes that our sun finally gets sick of us squatting and lays the smackdown, or another galaxy comes along and eats us for lunch, that there's actually a pretty good possibility that there are other planets we might set up shop on. I mean, okay, so far all we've found are super huge gas giants that do stuff like whip around on weird orbits and have winds of 6,000 miles an hour, and some freaky ass lumps with water so heavy it crystalizes and a few random rocky planets that are orbiting neutron stars (yes, the flashy lights look cool but the radiation that would cook you inside out within minutes, not so much). The point is, the reason we've only found these things is that we are lame. Seriously, when it comes to finding alien planets we are Ug in the cave congratulating ourselves on how awesome this newfangled fire thing is. But what we do know is that if this is here then there's a good chance that is there. Meaning planets bopping along in the habitable zones of stars. And while there are days that the prospect of the eventual extinction of humanity is a downright cheery thought, it might be a tiny bit cool if we managed a bit of interstellar migration first. Eventually we're goners one way or the other, so I can mantain excitement at the prospect of living on alien worlds while remaining soothed by the knowledge that, even then, we're still too tiny to make fuckall difference in the overall outcome.

Oh science, how are you so awesome?