(no subject)

Today's not meme post is because I have finally got around to watching Sons of Anarchy. It's been on my list for awhile now, since I promised Zen I'd give it a go, but it's also in that category of show that I have to be in the right mood to watch. If a show is either primarily comedic or if it is full of tragic serious business the right headspace is crucial to my getting into it.

For a show like Sons of Anarchy I need to be in a place where I can feel strong emotions, and where primarily negative emotions like fear and sadness and anger are cathartic rather than destructive. Yesterday was one of those days, so I stocked up on stress relief junk food and hit the Netflix to marathon season 1. And SoA delivered.

These are not nice people doing not nice things in a deeply compelling way. I find myself fascinated by most of the characters even as I don't actually like most of them. Gemma is not a good person, but holy shit do I love her as a character. That woman has conviction about what she wants, why she wants it, who she wants it from, and how she wants it, and absolutely zero compunction about doing whatever it takes to get it. This is her world, she rules it, and you had better not forget it. I find it kind of impossible not to admire that, even while both the methods and ends desired make me go holy shit, you are not a good person, omfg. Gemma is kind of my favorite right now.

Surprisingly to me, at the moment Jax is kind of my least favorite. There are characters I actively hate where I don't hate Jax (I find both Clay and Tig to be gross as hell and want them both to die a lot). But while I was initially really sympathetic to Jax his....for lack of a better word...passivity through the season started to REALLY ANNOY ME A LOT. Dude, just sack up and make a decision, any decision. He spends so much time thinking and angsting about the implications of everything and so little time doing fuck all about any of it, that for a good chunk of the season it's like he's just sort of drifting from external event to external event that happened because other people were making decisions and doing shit while he was making thoughtful sadfaces and contemplating his dad's writings. Come on asshole, get in the damn game, because I want to actually back you here, but you gotta do something other than just react after the fact to....everything. Given the season 1 finale I have grand hopes that Jax has finally shaken off his paralysis and is going to do something. *fingers crossed*

And, y'know, he better because of the side characters who have gained my attention/investment Opie is near the top of the list. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING, BTW, AND IT WAS FUCKING DEVASTATING. Like, I went in expecting death and horrible things and I thought I was braced for the right thing when shit started to go so bad, only it turned out I was bracing in the wrong direction and got punched hard right in the gut and it was painful, oh my god.

I also find myself fascinated by Tara. Who is so unbelievably messed up in complicated ways that I am deeply intrigued by. Why she left. Why she came back and how that played out. Her antagonistic relationship with Gemma. What she sees in Jax and why. This is not a healthy individual, and watching her issues unravel and tangle around her is kind of deeply compelling.

And also, overall the entire politics of outlaws as it plays out internally and in interaction with the town and law enforcement and rival and partner outlaws (and how that shifts)...it's intriguing. And packed with characters whose stories I want to know better, whether because I find myself developing affectionate feelings or because I want to set them on fire.

So, yes. Defnitely going to watch the rest of this show. It will probably end up breaking me in so many ways, but I'm in for the ride. Damn you, Zen. <3