(no subject)

[fan_eunice]

And now I will procrastinate by thinking out loud more about my new favorite subject. Putting it behind a cut so as to make scroll by ignoring easier. Today's topic, why although I am desperately in love with both Li Ann and Mac...it's Victor I worry about the most.



See, the thing is that both Li Ann and Mac had to learn and adapt to the fact that the world is an unfair, hurtful place from a very young age. You kind of have to when your parents either sell you or just flat out don't give a shit about you. If there's a deep end in the 'life isn't fair' pool, they both got thrown in to sink or swim practically from birth. And swim they did. Like fishes. I'm not going to argue that some of the coping mechanisms they individually came up with aren't fucked up as hell. Because they are. But they exist is my point. When you expect the world to smack you up, you're at least braced for the blow and you know how to get back up.

Victor...not so much. I mean, seriously, he grew up in a stable 2 parent home, where by all indications he was loved and cared for and whatever irritations he has with his family fall well within the range of normal. And then he grew up and did the right thing for the right reasons. The only reason it was possible for the set up and betrayal that led to his fall from grace in the police department is that he was so freaking naive about the whole thing. Honesty and truth and justice are supposed to win, right? And when that's not true, it's like he can't even process it. Li Ann or Mac's reaction would be 'well, duh'. Victor keeps trying to believe and it keeps on hurting him when he's proved wrong. And I don't know how much of that he can take. It is Victor, of the three of them, that is prone to bitterness and depression. And so I worry, okay.

Li Ann and Mac are the masters of bending. Victor is one bad twist away from breaking.

Comments

apparently I had a little meta in me

[some_stars]

Huh, you know, I got the impression that Vic's past was pretty fucked up--I mean it wasn't super dwelled on, but there were a handful of offhand comments about his parents that seemed pretty serious, and in "Jaded Love" when it's made explicit that at least part of his 'wounded bird' complex is about seeing himself and his life in those people. (My rewatch has not yet reached the episode with his sister so I can't remember what gets said there.) So the naivete seems to me possibly more of a self-enforced insistence on believing in people he identifies with, and in the pseudo-families he so badly wants to take him in. Like, he knows that the world hasn't worked like this for him, but he can't bring himself to stop believing that it will, eventually, this time.

If I had to sketch out a backstory for him, it would be along the lines of the police being the replacement family/community that he put all his hope in his whole childhood/adolescence, and since they betrayed him he's been reeling for years but hasn't yet figured out some new way to deal with the world (possibly because he's been cloistered away in prison and then the Agency ever since, which does not leave a lot of room for emotional growth). He had one coping 'skill,' and it failed, and he doesn't have a new one yet, which leaves him so horribly vulnerable. IDK, it's all very interesting. And I totally agree that this all makes him way more likely to just lose it at some point in a serious way. He always seems so close to some edge or another, so brittle.

Re: apparently I had a little meta in me

[fan_eunice]

Hrmmm...now I wanna go back and rewatch all the Victor stuff, because it is very possible I missed stuff since I tend to not pay as close attention to him as the other two. I got the impression that although he's got major issues with his family his upbringing wasn't abusive so much as...irritating? And that his life up to the point of the set-up was pretty normal. I don't doubt that paying closer attention could prove that very wrong.

Like, he knows that the world hasn't worked like this for him, but he can't bring himself to stop believing that it will, eventually, this time.

YES. Either way...this is the thing that worries me about him. Whatever the underlying reason, he has almost no flexibility in adjusting his worldview, like he has to believe even when it hurts him and then he doesn't know what to do with that. Brittle is an excellent word for it. And when he cracks it's going to be ugly. Poor bunny.

Re: apparently I had a little meta in me

[some_stars]

Well, I tend to read into little things like that...an old habit developed to compensate for TV's unwillingness to depict main characters as screwed up as they should be/seem to be. Which has changed in recent years, but apparently my instinctive habits kick back in when faced with nineties television. *g*

[gelasius]

I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know that you've inspired me to start rewatching (by which I mean I saw maybe half back when it was on and have vague memories of loving) this show and I now have it all on my harddrive. (Also, apparently Julian Richings whom I discovered as Death on Supernatural is going to be in it once I get further in, so bonus.)

Thirdly, after (re)watching the first five episodes I will have to say I concur with this particular character assessment and also OMGFLAILOT3YAY.

<3