Ten/Rose...it's like B/A...sort of

[fan_eunice]

laurashapiro made a cool post about how her reading DW fic mirror her experience in the dS fandom which got me thinking about my own fandom experiences and then combining that with the other stuff I've been thinking about lately and led me right back to the days of Buffy fandom and the realization that Ten/Rose has become this weird mirror to the way I experienced B/A...and for many of the same reasons. Except this time the process has happened in reverse. And it all comes down to two things I posted about earlier...the way we talk about things in fandom affecting the way we watch, and my absolute loathing of Soulmates 4Evah 'shipping.

In both relationships you have a rather, er, vocal contigent of 4Evah 'shippers whose arguments...well, they make my skin crawl. With B/A, I didn't start watching the show until 5th season and had been heavily exposed to them before I saw the first three seasons. The end result was that the first time through I had a near allergic reaction to the pairing and a gut level response of DO NOT WANT to any hint of B/A discussion or fic. Then a couple things happened. First, I met and became friends with quite a few B/A fans who were not coming from the soulmate place, many of whom had cool things to say about the relationship and gave me an in to thinking about it in a different context. Second, Myrtle and I made a B/A vid which did even more to cause me to rethink the filter I was seeing them through, and that if you tilt your head this way...huh, something interesting to chew on there after all. Third, my love of threesomes and the practically built in one of Buffy/Spike/Angel meant I pretty much had to come up with some justifications for B/A I didn't hate since I don't OT3 without being able to back all three of the incoming relationships. End result? I went from running away screaming at the mere mention of B/A to the place I am now...while I wouldn't necessarily call myself a 'shipper, I am fascinated by the relationship and the ways it could work. I have even been known to read B/A fic where Spike wasn't anywhere nearby (I know! Me!) And when I rewatch earlier episodes now I find I actually (and I will deny this if you tell anyone)...well, sometimes I coo and go "awwwwww" at them.

Ten/Rose? Completely opposite trajectory. I watched series one and two of DW in total fannish bubble that consisted primarily of me, myself, and I. Before I started reading around fandom I thought they were freaking adorable together and while I was on the fence about romantic potential I was all over the fact that Rose and the Doctor loved each other. A lot. I loved that they did. I also thought they were doomed and kinda dysfunctional and I was fascinated by the way that played out. And then I cried and cried and cried and cried at Doomsday when the doom arrived. Given my history and the way I love to 'ship, I should've ended up jumping on that boat with both feet fannishly. Instead I ended up running smack into a wall of 4Evah soulmates. Like garlic to a vampire dude. Picture me cowering away from my computer screen muttering "nononononononoooooooo". I have a hard time even talking about Ten/Rose as a 'ship anymore without feeling a slight recoil even though it has nothing to do with what I saw on screen or my own perception of them as a pairing. Reading 'shippy fic about them is near impossible even when I want to because I'm flinching at the possibility it's gonna go down the soulmate road at any moment.

If I were a totally rational human being, I'd be able to include Ten/Rose in my 'ships on my terms regardless of how other people 'ship them. I think someday I will again once the fandom itself is less volatile and reaches that place where everyone sort of chills out and bonds. 'Cause dude...freaking adorable and dysfunctional and love and hugs. Just...not right now. I'm not that rational.

Obligatory disclaimer: This is my issue and I accept full responsibility for my own discomfort and have no expectations that anyone 'ship anything differently than they want to or that makes them happy. Seriously. I have no doubt that my love of any number of 'shipping conventions makes other people just as nuts as theirs make me.