(no subject)

I am not moving into my house today on account of the contractor messed up and part of the electrical was not done by the time the inspection happened, so now the real final inspection won't happen until tomorrow. Which has pushed back the installation of internet and tv to Saturday morning. So, Saturday! Which on the scale of delays is not bad at all so I'm not too fussed about it. HOUSE!

Anyway, I've been thinking more about the matter of good taste vs. bad, subsequent to my freakout about picking out my own furniture. And what I figured out is that I'm not actually upset or freaked out at the idea of having bad taste, or liking something that is generally considered tacky/ugly/dumb. Heck no, I proudly enjoy all sorts of shit that supposedly has no redeeming value.

What does freak me out, and can stop me cold from discussing what I like or don't like about a tv show or music or art or furniture or whatever. About making decisions based on what I like...it's that I won't know that whatever is actually in bad taste, and fuck you I like it anyway. If that makes any sense at all? Like, if I like something completely without irony or awareness and I say so, my reaction to people going 'WTF, that sucks/is ugly/stupid' or whatever is going to be to doubt my own taste, and to feel really idiotic for ever liking it in the first place. Which is different to me liking something and being aware that it's considered the above for whatever reason, in which case my response is a much more chill 'whatever, but I like it' and not feel judgement about it.

Shorter version, I'm not scared of having bad taste...I'm scared of not knowing I do.

(no subject)

I am fascinated by the concept of vidding as therapy or cathartic vidding, and recent conversations with sweetestdrain about it has me wanting to know more from people about when and why they do it, and how it affects the actual process. And about vid watching as therapy as well.

Like, obviously Dreams was about me working through unresolved issues about losing my doggie, and also about loss and death in general. And less obviously externally, Legends Never Die was straight up cancer=Freddy Kreuger internally while vidding. To a certain extent I can point to any one of my vids and pull out what I was feeling or going through in real life that relates to why I made the choices I made, but in some vids the choice to do that is deliberate and intentional.

So, what vids have you made or would you like to make that are about intentionally processing or facing irl issues? Or, what vids do you watch because they function in the same way? How does making such a vid differ from making other vids, and in the audience response and your reaction to that? I'd also like to hear from fic writers who have done this in fic, 'cause I imagine working through shit by using external source and storytelling/metaphor are similar.

Catharsis, its whats for dinner.