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Good morning peoples! :D Yesterday was an interesting journey into the land of Fun With Mental Illness. After getting my festivid assignment of AWESOME (you might think your assignment was more awesome than mine...you would be wrong, because that is not possible), I was so happy I was bouncing off walls. That is until I immediately ran into massive tech issues with importing my source into premiere. Repeated, headbanging, soul crushing tech issues that were blocking me from being able to jump on my enthusiasm for this vid and causing me great stress because I couldn't figure out why it was going so wrong.
In the land of the sane this is your cue to go chill and do something else since you've ordered DVD source from Amazon that will be arriving tomorrow for fuck's sake, and the only reason you were trying to get the ahemed version into Premiere in the first place was to rough out some ideas while you waited. As the vids aren't even due until January, this is not exactly a crisis.
If you are me then when someone innocently asks how you are doing, you hit them with a crazy train tantrum involving lots of MY LIFE AND THIS VID ARE OVER, THE SUN WILL NEVER SHINE AGAIN BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS WRONG IN THE WORLD. It was ugly, y'all. And silly. I finally managed to fall asleep thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, and when I woke up this morning UPS tracking informs me my source is out for delivery.
And when it gets here I had a bunch of ideas form overnight about how I'm going to deal with the bits of the song I was clueless what I was gonna do with. It turns out that [redacted] is a metaphor for [redacted]'s issues with [redacted]. I know! Simple solution, right?
And this is why when I am having my epic crazy meltdowns, I actually prefer it when they are not greeted with sympathy but with mocking (of the loving sort, not the mean sort) and a refusal to indulge them by my nearest and dearest, which is why I have the best friends because that is what they do. Because this shit is ridiculous and the last thing I want is to give it more power by legitimizing the irrationality. I can't stop myself from being irrational, so sometimes I need to trust the people around me to identify what is real and what is my brain lying to me. If they treat my falling to the floor and crying out to the heavens NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO over a missing pen the same as my being legitimately upset over upsetting things then all it does is make it even harder for me to distinguish between them.
I kind of really hate the attitude towards the mentally ill that is all 'oh, poor dear can't help it so let us indulge and patronize her, and don't hold her responsible for whatever she does while she's like that'. Feeding my delusions and treating me like a small child doesn't help. Have I mentioned lately how grateful I am to have the friends because they don't let me get away with shit just because I am crazypants? Because I really, really am.
In the land of the sane this is your cue to go chill and do something else since you've ordered DVD source from Amazon that will be arriving tomorrow for fuck's sake, and the only reason you were trying to get the ahemed version into Premiere in the first place was to rough out some ideas while you waited. As the vids aren't even due until January, this is not exactly a crisis.
If you are me then when someone innocently asks how you are doing, you hit them with a crazy train tantrum involving lots of MY LIFE AND THIS VID ARE OVER, THE SUN WILL NEVER SHINE AGAIN BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS WRONG IN THE WORLD. It was ugly, y'all. And silly. I finally managed to fall asleep thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, and when I woke up this morning UPS tracking informs me my source is out for delivery.
And when it gets here I had a bunch of ideas form overnight about how I'm going to deal with the bits of the song I was clueless what I was gonna do with. It turns out that [redacted] is a metaphor for [redacted]'s issues with [redacted]. I know! Simple solution, right?
And this is why when I am having my epic crazy meltdowns, I actually prefer it when they are not greeted with sympathy but with mocking (of the loving sort, not the mean sort) and a refusal to indulge them by my nearest and dearest, which is why I have the best friends because that is what they do. Because this shit is ridiculous and the last thing I want is to give it more power by legitimizing the irrationality. I can't stop myself from being irrational, so sometimes I need to trust the people around me to identify what is real and what is my brain lying to me. If they treat my falling to the floor and crying out to the heavens NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO over a missing pen the same as my being legitimately upset over upsetting things then all it does is make it even harder for me to distinguish between them.
I kind of really hate the attitude towards the mentally ill that is all 'oh, poor dear can't help it so let us indulge and patronize her, and don't hold her responsible for whatever she does while she's like that'. Feeding my delusions and treating me like a small child doesn't help. Have I mentioned lately how grateful I am to have the friends because they don't let me get away with shit just because I am crazypants? Because I really, really am.
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I got home last night and my aheming source is down. I totally did not have a flaming panic. That's scheduled for tonight if it's not back up. :)
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THAT IS AMAZING. Can I have your secret? :D
*smooshes you*
I'll be on gmail in case the panic does set in.
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