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I am spamming today, but I am tired and I don't feel good and I'm being avoidy about actually calling the hospital financial aid to start sorting all that crap out.
I don't actually even have meta, I just want to talk about Nathan's face and how much I love it. You guys, I love Nathan's face a LOT. It is actually sort of amusing to me because hands down my favorite character on Haven is Audrey. Like, without question. But my anxiety levels regarding her storyline and the mumblemumblespoiler things are so high that I can't even think about it directly without going into actual panic attacks. So I don't.
Nathan, on the other hand, and his stupid face and the way it does things to me emotionally. That I can wallow in while managing not to take myself too seriously. So I am. WALLOW. Watch me wallow. Nathan, your FACE. And your plastic fork of doom. And all your FEELINGS. <3 <3 <3 And babies. I love you so fucking much.
I don't actually even have meta, I just want to talk about Nathan's face and how much I love it. You guys, I love Nathan's face a LOT. It is actually sort of amusing to me because hands down my favorite character on Haven is Audrey. Like, without question. But my anxiety levels regarding her storyline and the mumblemumblespoiler things are so high that I can't even think about it directly without going into actual panic attacks. So I don't.
Nathan, on the other hand, and his stupid face and the way it does things to me emotionally. That I can wallow in while managing not to take myself too seriously. So I am. WALLOW. Watch me wallow. Nathan, your FACE. And your plastic fork of doom. And all your FEELINGS. <3 <3 <3 And babies. I love you so fucking much.
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Nathan's stupid face and his stupid everything else
He does DECOUPAGE. Imagine what he could do with a coffee table!
He sniffs essential oils that Vince & Dave gave him, that he keeps on his desk at work. (Secretly he takes scented bubble baths sometimes, y/y?)
FLOWERS.
"Did you know the skin on your lips is the most sensitive on your entire body?"
What do you think his worst fear might have been, when he saw a glimpse of it in 2x02 "Fear and Loathing" and it nearly paralyzed him with shock?
And finally, in the next installment of "Is Dorinda A Bad Person?": I reeeeeally enjoyed Crazy/Chained-Up/Animalistic/Lunging-at-Duke Nathan from 1x03 "Harmony," who casually and unfeelingly puts a flame to his own arm. How Bad A Person Am I?: DISCUSS.
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Re: Nathan's stupid face and his stupid everything else
MOST DEFINITELY he takes scented bubble baths.
FLOWERS
I suck at speculation so I'm not even gonna try.
And if you are a bad person I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. Because, the thing about the crazy making in Harmony is that it didn't bring out anything in anyone that wasn't already there. Brought to irrational extremes yes, but it's not like Nathan wouldn't ever try to hurt himself or has pain and rage and Duke issues....OH WAIT. Nathan in the raw, that was. <3 <3 <3 <3. WE WILL BE BAD PEOPLE TOGETHER.
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I love to think about Nathan's many coping skills, which he must have turned to in order not to go completely crazy or despairing when his affliction came back! Dave & Vince mention the scents, and explicitly connect those to the way that Nathan tries to feed all of his other senses to make up for the important one he doesn't have. So it seems like Nathan very consciously and deliberately spends extra time smelling things, looking at things, one supposes also listening to things. And tasting things of course, especially pancakes. I hope he learned how to cook before the affliction came back, because I think it would be a hard thing to learn comfortably without your sense of touch/heat/cold! (Especially without someone else around to tell you if your coffee or tea is cool enough to drink safely yet. <3) But maybe he just depends on the restaurants in town he already knows he likes.
Anyway, this is all to say that Nathan is a semi-closeted sensualist. (Or at least, maybe he thinks he's semi-closeted. But not to anyone who pays attention!)
I suck at speculation so I'm not even gonna try.
I enjoy speculating, but I honestly have noooooo idea. Hmmm. Especially since the other worst-fears tended to be of, you know, things, things/creatures/people who were easily embodied as something that you can see. Whereas I would expect Nathan's worst fear to possibly be something very internal to him. (Unless it was something bad happening to other(s) he cares about...)
it's not like Nathan wouldn't ever try to hurt himself or has pain and rage and Duke issues....OH WAIT. Nathan in the raw, that was.
Oh, excellent point! The darkest part of Nathan's id, on the rampage, all red-eyed and hungry. (SIGH.) Plus, that event gets bookended with recovered-Nathan solemnly urging Duke to file a complaint against him, which I am sure he totally meant. OH NATHAN YOU AND YOUR STUPID ARRRRRRR.
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I DON'T KNOW BUT I WANT TO.
Here's one guess. I don't know if it actually was their worst fear that they saw, but rather the one that was closest to the surface. Like, I'm not sure I believe for a minute that Duke's worst fear was some tattooed guy. (Have you seen him with a shotgun?) So, Nathan had just met the real Audrey Parker, and was still working through the implications of that. Maybe he saw his Audrey transform into the other Audrey?
On the other hand, he had just buried his dad. Maybe he saw the Chief, with like, cracks running through his face or something?
In conclusion, Nathan's face.
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Anyway, this is all to say that Nathan is a semi-closeted sensualist. (Or at least, maybe he thinks he's semi-closeted. But not to anyone who pays attention!)
Agreed! Though, I think Nathan thinks he is closeted about way more things than he is actually closeted about. He probably thinks he does a good job of appearing stoic. And I'm quite sure he believes no one can tell when he's having dirty thoughts about either Duke or Audrey. Bless.
Also, can we talk about his (deliberate) flirting skills? Because they are SO BAD. Some of that can be chalked up to his awkwardness about his affliction, but a great deal of it is just plain awkwardness, and I have a hard time figuring out how he got any before the Troubles came back. Except that he's very pretty. That probably helps. Now, unintentional flirting he's just fine at, just don't make him aware he is. Because that way lies a lot of facepalming. Oh, Nathan.
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HEEEEE HEE HEE HEE AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
...in short, yes, this is absolutely true. I just want to pinch his cheek. OH YOU ARE UNDOUBTEDLY FOOLING EEEEVERYBODY, BOYCHIK.
Also, can we talk about his (deliberate) flirting skills? Because they are SO BAD.
IKR? I mean, just to (slowly, slooooowly) move toward getting it on with Jess, he needed, like, two training wheels, Audrey and Jess in tandem, kind of hauling him up the hill like a very pretty sack of laundry. ...oh, Nathan.
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And oh god, that whole scene with Audrey and Jess is amazing. I love that at one point they are basically 'okay, we're just gonna do this bit without you because this is getting painful'
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Because yes, they're interacting and talking about a man, but in that particular case they're totally being canny (and eye-rolling) allies in a pro-active sisterhood--no competition or jealousy anywhere in sight--who are wisely trying to collaborate with each other in order to help poor Nathan and his poor stupid face. Even when he's standing right there.
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That makes so much sense! Yes, I like it. And I could further imagine that the closest-to-the-surface one could conceivably be a manifestation or a relation to a deeper more inchoate fear underneath. So, for instance, as you say, it isn't that Duke's worst fear is the tattooed man coming to kill him per se--it could instead be 1) that was on his mind, and 2) some of his deepest fears might be not just about death, but about being overpowered, being surprised, being trapped with nowhere to run to.
I could imagine Nathan seeing something having to do with Audrey, or with the Chief. If it was something having to do with the Chief, I'd be really curious to speculate how that might have affected how he felt later when he saw the Chief again.
In conclusion, Nathan's face.
\o/
TWO OF HIS MOST EXCELLENT FACEMOMENTS.
I was also thinking this evening about this tiny little face of his... when he very first sees Audrey's gun and they have the classic scene where they draw on each other, when she gets him to show his ID, once he gets the photo up next to his face, he then kind of pushes his face forward next to it, as if he's flattening it out like the picture. Tiny, and priceless.
Let me see, I think I saw an animated .gif of it...yeah, here we go.
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God, I love your brain. Have I mentioned lately that I love your brain? Also, for the sake of all that is good and right in this world, please tell me you're writing them or are planning to write them at some point?
You linked me to that gif before, and YES, ahaha. The very first thing that hooked me on this show was how sarcastic Nathan and Audrey were with each other from the first moment. When he asks her if she needs help, and she's like, no, you ass, I'm totally fine here suspended OFF THIS CLIFF. And when she asks if he can feel cold and he's like, yes, by which I mean no. *A MILLION HEARTS*
I think I 'ship Nathan/Audrey harder than any canonical 'ship ever in the history of TV and movies. Of course, my version involves Duke, but still. Usually I am all, NO ROMANCE BACK AWAY FROM THE ROMANCE but this show makes me love every second of it.
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I was not even kidding when I said you could strip away the mytharc and the supernatural stuff and just have a show about Audrey and Nathan investigating, like cases of minor vandalism in Haven together and I would still watch the shit out of it. While making high pitched squeaky noises.
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Also, you are smart and stuff but I'm falling over DEAD from that face and cannot form more coherent thoughts.
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how sarcastic Nathan and Audrey were with each other from the first moment
Yes yes yes times a million. And Nathan brings the black-belt deadpan.
Usually I am all, NO ROMANCE BACK AWAY FROM THE ROMANCE
Me too! I basically prefer to do my own shipping. But in this case, they have a solid friendship and partnership to start with, which I appreciate, and there are really interesting textures between them--I can't figure out how to say this right, but like, unique connections (the touch, for instance) and unique complications (who is she, the past, the Chief's warning, etc.). It adds a lot of layers to their interactions and to whatever their relationship may be at any given time. Plus there's Duke to add into the whole milieu! And certainly there's no easy sailing--so I feel I can get on board.
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SO MUCH AGREEMENT HERE. This has been intensely pleasurable to me, watching their friendship and partnership develop!
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This pleases me, though not nearly as much as it would have if you'd said, "As a matter of fact, I am close to finishing a 1,000,000-word trilogy of novels about them." I know, it's good to want things.
Apropos of very little, I would like to note that Eric Balfour follows Nathan Fillion on Twitter. As if I need more reasons to find him adorable.