(no subject)

[fan_eunice]

I have forgotten how to vid. In the years I've been doing this, I've learned that even though it feels like it, this doesn't mean I will NEVER VID AGAIN (imagine that said while collapsing dramatically with one hand to the forehead and the other clenched in a fist aimed at the sky). This time around, though, it coincides both with me owing a fuckton of auction vids and festivids gearing up. I would not feel right participating in festivids if the auction vids weren't on track to be mostly out of the way by reveals. So I pretty much decided if I didn't have at least two done by this weekend, I wouldn't sign up for festivids. It's now Wednesday, and although I have two promising timelines in various states of completion...it is looking unlikely. Because I have forgotten how to vid.

And so I am pretty much avoiding fandom entirely because, as every two year old knows, if you hide under a blanket they can't see you and it doesn't exist. I haven't seen the new Who yet, on account of not being in a good headspace to squee. I haven't really done much of anything but decide that the most productive use of my time is to watch the second season of Masterchef Australia (couldn't find first season), since I hadn't seen it and US Masterchef just ended and I wasn't ready to let go yet. If I was doing festivids, I would probably request Masterchef (in any of it's incarnations), 'cause I love it so.

Well, I also cleaned my house, which was amazing. And I'm keeping it clean, which is practically a miracle. And I started a structured eating plan using My Fitness Pal, in an effort to be more mindful about what I eat and how (not eating all day and then suddenly cramming down large quantities of junk food late in the evening is not even remotely a sensible eating plan). So that's all good. In fact, it's great. My real life stuff feels like it's getting organized and on track in a way it hasn't in a long time. Just. Can't. Vid.

Whatever.

Comments

[such_heights]

*squishes you* Crossing my fingers that your vidding mojo returns sooner rather than later! It is not a fun feeling. <333

[jetpack_monkey]

*hugs* If you need to flail or talk something out, I can hop on any instant messaging system of your choice. Or email -- nate AT monkeyswithjetpacks.com.

I have left my phone number on your last locked post.

[littleheaven]

Do I need to give you your pep talk? *remembers back to 2010*

The pressure can be self-defeating. I know I get like it at work - when it's REALLY busy I literally grind to a halt because I don't know what to do first. I always sort it out by just picking up SOMETHING and doing it. So that's kind of like vidding, in a way. But I understand your angst, because I've been there, as you know (HUG).

Don't feel bad if you can't sign up for Festivids. You can always do gifts, if time and mojo allow, with no pressure, because if you don't make the deadline, nobody will know!

[laurashapiro]

It will come back.

::hugs::

[grammarwoman]

Maybe you're in overload, post-Vividcon?

It took several years for me to notice a pattern, where massive social exposure in August with conventions and family visits and such were inevitably followed by retreating home and withdrawing from the world at large (especially online fandom) for a while to restore my introvert reserves.

Good luck getting your mojo back!

[amathela]

*hugs*

If my vids is one of the ones hanging you up, please don't worry about it - it's pressure-free, really, I wouldn't want it to stress you out or prevent you from doing something you otherwise want to do.

[fan_eunice]

*squishes back* <3 <3 <3

I still haven't started on this season of Who, but expect I will be coming to you to jump up and down and squee once I'm in a place to dive in :).

[fan_eunice]

*HUGS*

Have I mentioned lately how fantastic I think you are? Because you are fantastic and I'm so glad I know you. I suck at phones (anxiety), but I am sending you giant HEARTS for offering.

[fan_eunice]

Hee! *smoosh* I'm feeling a little better about all of it, and have decided not to force it in favor of keeping my focus on other stuff in my life that needs it right now. Vidding will still be there :)

[fan_eunice]

*HUGS*

[fan_eunice]

*nodnodnod*

I had way too much social interaction for my comfort level in the months leading up to, and then at, Vividcon. Combined with other real life stuff that needs my attention I was putting too much pressure on myself.

*HUGS*

[fan_eunice]

*HUGS*

Bless you. I don't exactly know when I'll be back on my vidding game, but eventually! :)

[jetpack_monkey]

Aw shucks. Totally understood, though. I'm not super on the phone either.

All other lines of communication are still open, in case you need.

[littleheaven]

That it will. It'll miss you, but it'll wait :o) I'm having the same trouble right now. RL is getting right in the way of anything I try to do. *sigh*