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So, I am kind of dead curious about something now. How old were you when your parents started allowing you to see rated R movies (and under what circumstances), and if you are a parent how old were your kids (or will your kids be) when you allow them? And also, I'm kind of wondering if when you were born affects this, because there were actually a lot more on the No You May not list for my kid than there were on my parent's list for me, even though we had roughly the same rules about it, on account of I think there were more movies with the kinds of graphic violence and extreme situations when my kid was growing up than when I did.
Like, okay...I mentioned in comments of the navel gazing post...in my house growing up, once we hit about, I guess 10 or 11 if one or both of my parents were going to see a rated R movie we were pretty much allowed to go with if we wanted as long as it didn't appear there would be excessive violence/gore/adult situations on the extreme sort of end mostly, or we could go to whatever other movie that was PG playing at the same time or whatever. We weren't allowed to go *without* a parent, and there were some movies on the No You May Not list even with until about I...want to say around 14, when I was basically allowed to go see whatever I wanted with or without a parent.
Just, in general my parents had pretty lax rules about media consumption in that we were allowed to read whatever we wanted from always (if you could pull it off a shelf and read the words in it? then it was your decision). Open communication was always encouraged about whatever it is we were reading or watching, but the decision (except, like I said up there in the case of movies with high gore/violence content) was up to us? Which, I don't know if it was just the lack of taboo, or if I was a boring kid, but to be honest most of the time I opted for the more 'kid friendly' movie in the theater, and the only arguments I remember about the No You May Not list was my growing love of horror at the time, and not being allowed to see a lot of those movies in theater (and on VHS) until a few years later.
In terms of my own kid, I mostly followed the same sort of deal. Read anything you want. Light restriction of movies/tv in that nudity/swearing were not dealbreakers but extreme violence of any kind would be until teenage years, when I started leaving it up to him.
So how did your parents handle it? And how do you/would you (if applicable) handle/plan to handle it with your own kids?
Like, okay...I mentioned in comments of the navel gazing post...in my house growing up, once we hit about, I guess 10 or 11 if one or both of my parents were going to see a rated R movie we were pretty much allowed to go with if we wanted as long as it didn't appear there would be excessive violence/gore/adult situations on the extreme sort of end mostly, or we could go to whatever other movie that was PG playing at the same time or whatever. We weren't allowed to go *without* a parent, and there were some movies on the No You May Not list even with until about I...want to say around 14, when I was basically allowed to go see whatever I wanted with or without a parent.
Just, in general my parents had pretty lax rules about media consumption in that we were allowed to read whatever we wanted from always (if you could pull it off a shelf and read the words in it? then it was your decision). Open communication was always encouraged about whatever it is we were reading or watching, but the decision (except, like I said up there in the case of movies with high gore/violence content) was up to us? Which, I don't know if it was just the lack of taboo, or if I was a boring kid, but to be honest most of the time I opted for the more 'kid friendly' movie in the theater, and the only arguments I remember about the No You May Not list was my growing love of horror at the time, and not being allowed to see a lot of those movies in theater (and on VHS) until a few years later.
In terms of my own kid, I mostly followed the same sort of deal. Read anything you want. Light restriction of movies/tv in that nudity/swearing were not dealbreakers but extreme violence of any kind would be until teenage years, when I started leaving it up to him.
So how did your parents handle it? And how do you/would you (if applicable) handle/plan to handle it with your own kids?
From:
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I was a voracious reader as a kid; I'm sure my parents were grateful when I could ride my bike the mile to the public library and they could stop driving me. I'd come home with a backpack full every time. In comparison, they themselves were casual readers, and they never understood my love for sci-fi and fantasy. My mom to this day hates sci-fi, blaming a movie she saw as a kid that scared the bejeesus out of her.
They never cared about what I was reading (maybe because what I was reading was so foreign to them); I don't ever remember restrictions on any of my books. When I was maybe 10 or so, I tried to check out Masquerade at the library, which for some reason was classified as an adult section book. My parents signed off on taking the children's section limitation off my library card, and my reading options exploded. The only time they ever interfered with my reading was when I was being punished; the most effective method they ever came up with was denying me TV and reading for fun. I got very good at sneaking books. :)
When I went home with one of my roommates in college, my mind was blown first by her family's enormous collection of sci-fi and fantasy books, and then by the revelation that her parents had greatly restricted what she could read. That would have been torture for me.
TV and movies were sort of the same, as I don't remember a lot of "You can't watch this!" but since my parents controlled my access to both, I guess there was vetting going on. I watched a lot of nighttime soaps with them (Dallas, Dynasty, Falcon Crest), police procedurals (Cagney & Lacey, Hill Street Blues), and sitcoms (Cosby Show, Family Ties). I knew I was getting to be a big kid the farther I could stay up into the annual showings of "Sound of Music" and "Wizard of Oz". ;)
We didn't go to see a lot of movies when I was a kid, but we took advantage of rentals once we got a VCR. During the summer, I watched a ton of movies on cable, too, as well as soap operas. I hated horror (and still do), and the cable channels didn't show much that was really adult during the day, so I never really watched too much above my age. When I got old enough and had an allowance, I would bike to the cheap movie theater to watch PG movies on my own.
My experience with my son has been almost completely different; I let him control what's on TV most of the time (which means on-demand or DVRed Disney and Cartoon Network, or videogames), saving my stuff to watch until after his bedtime. We've shown him Star Wars IV-VI, a little bit of Star Trek, the first few Harry Potters, the Indiana Jones trilogy, and Futurama, among other things. (The last one got us into trouble a few years ago at daycare, when he watched "Jurassic Bark" during breakfast and was upset most of the day.)
I've only restricted his access to a few shows (because OMG Disney Channel, are you TRYING to kill all our brain cells with your inane tween series?), but I explain to him why (with the latest one, I told him flat-out that it's beyond stupid, none of the characters are likable, and I don't want him to think that any of their behavior is acceptable). I also wouldn't let him play the Harry Potter 5-7 Lego so he won't be spoiled for the series before he watches/reads it, but I may let that one go. I really want to show him the LOTR series, but I'm afraid he'll get restless in the slower spots and creeped out by the Nazgul. I'm sure we'll clash more as he gets older.
He loves graphic novels, but so far hasn't tried to bring home anything much about his grade level.
So, um, sorry for expounding at length?
From:
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My sister in law restricts her kids on that basis all the tiiiiime, you are not alone. Though I will go to my grave defending Wizards of Waverly Place because I love that show. Um.
I really think part of the reason I saw some of the movies I did really is because going to the movies was a major form of family entertainment for us, either at the drive in and the regular theater nearly every weekend as a kid.
If you want to give LOTR a shot it might not go badly? I think my kiddo was maybe, I want to say 9 (am too lazy to look it up) when the first movie came out and sat through the whole thing in the theater and enjoyed it (though...I'm not sure he'd have made it through the extended version at the time, heh).
Also, do not apologize, I asked didn't I? :) :) *smoosh*