(no subject)

[fan_eunice]

I had all these grand hopes and plans that the combination of new computer, decent internet, and change of scenery for awhile would kick me back into both a creative and social renewal in which I made stuff and talked to people (both on and offline). That did not happen. Because my brain sucks.

So anyway, not entirely sure why I'm posting now except to say that I miss you guys and I miss flailing and capslocking and making stuff for mah shows, and I really hope at some point I will be in a place where I can do that with you guys soon. Especially since lots of stuff I love is either already started up again for new seasons or will shortly. *crosses fingers*

Oh! Maybe I can post about Breaking Bad which I finally watched all five seasons of in four days to catch up to where we currently are at. There is a great deal I could and may in the future say about this show and all it's characters and narrative and holy shit and all. There is a lot about this show that is freaking brilliant for so many reasons, even (or maybe especially) while it's repeatedly punching you in the gut. For now I'm just going to say how much I appreciate, so very much, a narrative in which not only does cancer not make someone a better person, it actively spurs them on/allows them to being a worse one. There is very little I find more annoying than the Cancer Made Me A Better Person story. I haaaaaaaaaaaaate it. Having it flipped so thoroughly on it's head, where the pain and rage and fear are twisted into justification to vile and horrific behavior, feeding off the worst impulses is...I won't say nice because it's really not. But it's something. It's hard to explain, because I am really, really, really not sympathetic to Walter White at all. Fuck that guy. Nearly everything about him horrifies me. But part of the absolute horror comes from recognizing that moment in the darkest of places of rage and fear where I get it. That wasn't very cheerful, was it.

Comments

[thirdblindmouse]

Hey! I'm glad to hear you're okay (or, you know, okay given brain suck). I was in Colorado this weekend for the first time, and it occurred to me that I hadn't seen you online since the flooding started.

I'm one of the few people who still hasn't seen any Breaking Bad, but it does sound amazing. I've been serially marathonning a bunch of shows, as it is my coping mechanism, but so far I've been sticking to SFF shows, especially ones nominated for festivids. What fall shows are you watching this year?

[fan_eunice]

Breaking Bad is very, very, very good. But also it is very, very, very intense and soul crushing. I'm not sure I'd recommend marathoning it straight through like I just did unless you are already in a pretty dark headspace. It truly is as brilliant as everyone says, though, so I also absolutely recommend watching it with planned breaks to collect yourself :)

I'm not sure what new shows I'll be watching (though I have my eye on Sleepy Hollow). But Haven and Legend of Korra are back! And new Person of Interest this week, I think. And Supernatural in October! :D

SPOILERS for EVERYTHING

[king_touchy]

Hm, should I put some space? I never know people prefer their discussions, but omg it's awesome to find people to talk with about Breaking Bad. It is NOT everyone's cup of tea, not on my reading circle at any rate.

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I love Breaking Bad for all of the reasons! Sometimes getting punched in the gut is exactly what I want from a TV show; I need variety in all my media consumption.

For now I'm just going to say how much I appreciate, so very much, a narrative in which not only does cancer not make someone a better person, it actively spurs them on/allows them to being a worse one.

Yes. To me it looked like Walt, when confronted by the realization of his early death, did that thing I've seen in other shows/movies/what-have-you: he examined his priorities and came up with a noble purpose (to spare his family financial ruin after his death), but instead of becoming a better person, he uncovered his regret and pride and sense of persecution and sacrifice (Gray Matter!) and justified working through all that shit with the excuse of doing it all for his family, because he had cancer.

And you know, Walt enjoyed the fuck out of stretching his brains. Only a genius could pull off the shit he did, coming from rank ignorance to become a drug kingpin, cutting down his competition, doing anything and everything to get what he wanted. His Heisenberg career fulfilled him as much as his Gray Matter gig did, might have, maybe more than it could have. Yeah, I'm stuck on Walt's feelings around missing out on what he could have had/done if Gray Matter had worked out. And for all the horror of facing his death by cancer, Walt remained focussed on his agenda and used his cancer to achieve his ends. Since its recurrence, it looks to me like cancer is really whipping him along, dropping him into a hellish place of despair, but wow, isn't he motivated now? In the last minutes of Sunday's episode? And it isn't cancer or his family or anything. It looks like revenge to me.

Whatever I think will happen, the show will prove me wrong and astound me while doing it. Breaking Bad hasn't let me down yet. Brilliant television.

Re: SPOILERS for EVERYTHING

[fan_eunice]

but instead of becoming a better person, he uncovered his regret and pride and sense of persecution and sacrifice (Gray Matter!) and justified working through all that shit with the excuse of doing it all for his family, because he had cancer.

Yes! Like he took that sense of unfairness and betrayal and anger that comes with a cancer diagnosis and it became the symbol for everything, a thing he could pin all his petty jealousies and bitter anger on and be justified in indulging that sense that he was better than all this. Came face to face with how sudden and arbitrary and unfair death can be and applied it outward so that 'why me?' becomes 'why not them too? if none of us escape it why do the details of when and how matter?' Walt's near indifference to most of the body count piling up around him makes sense in that context. An utterly chilling sense.

Re: SPOILERS for EVERYTHING

[king_touchy]

Did you see the finale yet? I'd love to know your thoughts on it.