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I'm not doing the new to me vidwatching challenge, but I feel really bad about it...so I kind of want to explain. Vid watching has become...tricky for me. As a general rule I don't watch vids in fandoms I am either currently vidding or have vid plans for. Exceptions are at Vividcon or if something is highly recc'd that is far enough in concept from anything I'm likely to do that it's not going to cause me to stall out in despair over mine. Not stalling out is a big thing for me vidwise, and watching vids in my active fandom is the quickest way to end up there. And then there are stretches of time where watching any vid, in any fandom, especially good ones, is going to do the same thing. It's insecurity, plain and simple. Vid watching when I'm feeling particularly low about my own abilities is not an enjoyable experience, it's one fraught with jealousy and frustration and big heapings of beating myself up. So I don't do it.
But I feel horrible about it because supporting my fellow vidders and the vid community is important. Not to mention one of the best ways to learn and grow as a vidder is to, y'know, watch vids as a way of picking up techniques and ideas and stretching the way you think about vids and vidding. Also, when not in the throes of obnoxiously self-pitying despair, vid watching is fun. I love vids. So during those periods of time when I'm feeling pretty solid, I do try to catch up some and go on vid watching binges (which lead to very little feedback from me on account of I'm watching piles of them at once). And, of course, there's Vividcon which is a solid stretch of nothing but watching and talking about vids for me that lasts the whole surrounding period of time and not just the con itself. It's just...there are more stretches where I'm not watching vids than I am during the rest of the year.
And it's not you, it's me. There. I have confessed. Chances are if I'm not watching your vids, that's the reason why.
But I feel horrible about it because supporting my fellow vidders and the vid community is important. Not to mention one of the best ways to learn and grow as a vidder is to, y'know, watch vids as a way of picking up techniques and ideas and stretching the way you think about vids and vidding. Also, when not in the throes of obnoxiously self-pitying despair, vid watching is fun. I love vids. So during those periods of time when I'm feeling pretty solid, I do try to catch up some and go on vid watching binges (which lead to very little feedback from me on account of I'm watching piles of them at once). And, of course, there's Vividcon which is a solid stretch of nothing but watching and talking about vids for me that lasts the whole surrounding period of time and not just the con itself. It's just...there are more stretches where I'm not watching vids than I am during the rest of the year.
And it's not you, it's me. There. I have confessed. Chances are if I'm not watching your vids, that's the reason why.