(no subject)

[fan_eunice]

Let's start with the parts that DONT make me cry like a little bitch, shall we?

Martha Jones, if I loved you any more I think I might EXPLODE WITH IT, I REALLY, REALLY MIGHT. That's it right there isn't it? If you need someone strong enough to walk the hard path, to face down the impossible choices, to stand strong in the face of an apocalypse, make a plan, carry it through and to do it on her own if necessary, then you want Martha Jones on your speed dial. I just...*flailflailflail*. That's my girl. Did you see her? *beams with pride* Does this mean we get her on Torchwood? Does it, does it, does it? *kicks feet in the air with GLEE* DID YOU NOTICE HOW SHE WAS HOLDING HANDS WITH JACK THERE BECAUSE IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY, YES IT DID.

Hee, Jack, you clever boy. I think I'm becoming a flat out Jack fangirl out of these two epsiodes...how the hell did that happen? The little wink made me do clappy glee hands, and zomg when he met up with Sarah Jane and Mickey and Jackie!!! Three Doctors, instaporn in Jack's head, I sporfle. I just, yes...he was useful and charming and adorable with everyone and blew shit up and he totally wants Sarah Jane, oh yes he does. *throws arms around Jack and cuddles and coos*

MICKEY OMG HI MICKEY HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME? Mickey who stayed to take care of his Gran, followed to protect Jackie and save the universes with his badass, come into his own self , and I just love him. And he is STAYING. On Torchwood too please? 'Cause he was all in the middle of a Martha/Jack sammich there at the end and that was so unbelievably happy making too (no, not just for porn reasons, shut up). *draws little hearts around Mickey*

*stops to draw more little hearts around Jackie who was damned if she was going to stay behind and not fight to protect her daughter*

Sarah Jane! So brave and so awesome, walking right into the jaws of death to do what's right and getting them all on that ship with her doohickey of whateverthefuck crystal of Fuck You Daleks. Facing down Davros, all growed up and not flinching, not even a little. Sarah Jane with her amazing son and life, being the one to drop the biggest truth of all on the Doctor, that he is not alone. Not even when he is. Because maybe he can't keep them but they love him, and when trouble comes calling you better believe Sarah Jane Smith is going to be right there at his back. Believe it.

Okay, okay..and then so you know how what I wanted most out of this episode was team? Was my beautiful companions coming together? AND THEY DID OMG. All of them, bouncing off each other and admiring each other (and how much do I love the Rose and Martha exchange? So, so, so very much), and full of so much love, for each other, for the Doctor. And courage. And THEY ALL FLEW THE TARDIS TOGETHER AND MY HEART GREW EIGHT SIZES.

And y'know, the thing is...the part where humans can be the ultimate weapons of destruction? That's true. And it is a more than a bit horrifying. But it is also marvelous in a way. Tiny little humans standing together in the face of impossible odds declaring 'No, we are not going down without fighting. We will not.' It's the same drive that produces the most horrible things that also gives us the most wonderful. That act of defiance is what bought time here. That strength kept everyone alive long enough. They are heroes. They just are. And I love them beyond reason. Them and their fantastic lives.

The Doctor, you will be surprised to learn, does not go under the category of things that make me cry like a little bitch this time. He's going to be all right. I absolutely believe it, because I've been watching this season and I've watched him learn and accept and grow. And what he knows now is that losing is part of loving. That the moment when you stand shoulder to shoulder with that much love and that many hands on the TARDIS, it's worth every heartache, it's worth the moment when you stand there alone. And you move on. Because you have to. And it hurts. Because it has to. And no, you don't look back, because, okay, I cried too at the faces of the fallen, and the pain and sacrifice that can come hand in hand with the Doctor, but it isn't the point. What they became with him wasn't the urge to destroy, it was the courage to live. And that's what they are doing. Oh yeah, my boy is gonna be just fine. And he's not alone. 'Cause when he needs it most, there will always be hands there to catch him. Maybe I cried a little.

I'm going to try to talk about Donna here. Try, because I keep bursting into tears. I don't know what I think of this yet. Donna Noble died. That's the absolute truth here. She's dead. And she didn't just save one universe she saved all of them. Donna made her choices on this path and was she was amazing and came into her own and with her own style came out swinging. That is a good death. It's the part where now she doesn't even know she lived. I don't even know what to do with that. I like to think that, while he can't tell her, Wilf will do his best to back her up in a way that can help her bring out the best part of herself. That somewhere in there Donna still knows it's there and will strive for it. That her mother will stop being such a godawful bitch and undermining the possibilities here. I believe in Donna. Maybe it's not the Doctor that will lead to her life fantastic. But something will. I have to believe that. It's a bit unbearable if I don't. Yeah, no, I can't talk about Donna more than that right now. Ow.

And then there's Rose. I...just...*throws hands in the air*. The thing is, every last bit of affection I've ever had for Rose came back with her. I love her. She had some lovely moments which made me grin from ear to ear and swell with pride. Which is what makes me so sad that it seems she never left that damn beach. She wasn't living her life fantastic with that wondeful family and standing strong as the Defender of the Earth, coming to save universes. She stumbled on an apocalypse because she wasn't doing anything but trying to go back instead of move forward. Maybe she can now. Maybe she needed to do all that, to follow that path all the way to the end before she could redirect that formidable energy and drive towards building a life beyond the TARDIS. The 'shippy bits don't really bother me, I hope she and human!Ten manage to build something real and lasting there since the objections I have to a traditional romance are gone with his humaness. I sort of have my doubts on account of him still being a post-traumatic former alien who has never had to learn to live an every day life, and wow the puppies and rainbows are going to run out right quick when that reality sets in, but I'm actually kind of pulling for them that they'll find a way through it. I think, mostly I'm just dissapointed that I have to go back to imagining the Rose Tyler she will become based on her potential rather than actually getting to meet her. *sigh* You can do it, Rose. Now, go take your workshop to build a dimension jumper and turn it into some unbelievably cool Earth defense system or something. Or a spaceship! Build yourself a spaceship!

And..the Doctor, our Doctor, is still the Doctor. My show that continues on is about the Time Lord with two hearts and a TARDIS, and complex and fascinating relationships with his humans, travelling the universe, loving and losing and moving on. I can't wait to go with him on the next journey.