Hmmm

So, I know I said no more Doctor Who vids for now, but. I have a more than three quarters finished bouncy Rose vid sitting on my hard drive that I rewatched this morning going through my vid related folders and...I kind of want to finish it. This was my "Rose was awesome and I will miss her, goodbye" vid. It probably wouldn't take very long to get it done, there's only a few blank spaces. I have been, since...wow, March, considering this vid one of my biggest failures. It stalled out during the time when I was trying to work and barely hanging on and then I got fired about the same time I declared the vid hopeless. I have strongly associated those feelings of failure with the wall I ran up against working on the vid. Except...having now seen it again after not looking at it since then...damn...it was a LOT closer to finished than I remembered. A lot. And it's not as horrible as I thought it was.

I'd have to recut it since all I have is the last export I did. I deleted the project file and everything else off my computer in a fit of frustrated tears when I thought it was forever doomed (note to self: don't DO THAT, you never know). And...it would be nice to spend some time with Rose that wasn't about me being irritated as fuck with fandom. I doubt the world needs another Rose vid. But I might need my Rose vid for me. I dunno. I will ponder. It really isn't more than a week or two worth of work (assuming it doesn't take me too long to get the source back on my hard drive and recut).

...and I ramble

Am going over almost finished vid of past, and yeah, I think I'm going to finish it. Am also remembering intensely why I do love Rose so much. One of the frustrating things for me about...all this fandom crap, is that when it comes down to it Rose the character was the thing that drew me in to New Who. It was the Doctor who then made me fall in love with the whole universe, but it was Rose who made me fall in love with companions, which was my starting point. Without her, I probably wouldn't have watched long enough to fall for the Doctor and what all that led to. And I love her for that. So much. So the thing is, when I hit fandom and I kept reading all this stuff that implied that people like me didn't love Rose because I didn't 'ship her in a specific way, or because I found that Rose was the just the first, but not the only one to show me how the role of companion was to mash all sorts of buttons of mine...it hurt. Probably more than it should have, it's only fandom after all, right? Thing of it is, it's sort of childish for me to then be "Well, fine, who needs Rose ANYWAY, you can have her." which I find myself doing more than I really want to. I just..want to be in a place where Rose is again part of my big whomping companion love, that Doctor/Rose is one more playground to explore the Doctor/Companion dynamics I find so compelling. It bothers me that, although the fandom stuff is not what stalled my Rose vid (I was still in my bubble of one when I was making it), it was actually a factor when I dusted it off this morning and wondered about finishing it. It shouldn't be. So, I'm going to do my best to not let it be. Thus endeth my ramble.

Also, new Supernatural tonight that I am home for, so yay other show to talk about too! I kinda want to post about Pushing Daisies, but I"m not sure what to say other than that I am utterly charmed by it, maybe next week? I also have a Heroes post rambling somewhere in my head that just hasn't yet gelled into a real post.