(no subject)

Frustrating!! Okay, so my vidding computer up and died on me a few months back (it has been in the process of slowly dying for a year now before it gave up the ghost entirely). This was sad, but not an entirely urgent issue because I've been experiencing extreme vidblock for so long that combined with my current mental state I was more 'I wasn't going to vid anyway because I suck and everything I make sucks and I'm going to go eat worms' than gazing longingly at the place where Premiere used to be. So the gap between it dying and the financial and practical bits being in place to build the new computer...eh. I have my laptop for general internet surfage and the playing of mindless games (and no, I can't really vid on it for various reasons).

But, as a result of my hyperobsession with SPN. I have a vid idea now. One that I am honestly a bit terrified of (because it's kind of...complicated and I doubt my ability to pull it off, so it could end up being a confusing hot mess instead of what I want it to be. Or, even worse, I am overestimating my ideas and it will just be *boring*). This kind of vid angst, however, is the kind that that means I am actually going to make a vid, though. It means I have an idea that I really, really want to see...badly enough that it bothers me that I might not pull it off like it is in my head, so I have to at least try.

It would really help, though...if I had a song, which is frustration number one. I tend to get ideas in search of a song more than the other way around, so this is nothing new...but I kind of hate the song search part, digging through piles of music and bugging my go to "I NEED A SONG FOR THIS" people, listening to song after song that is not quite right until the right one stands up and hollers 'I am your vid'.

But also, even when I do find the song, which I have faith I will since I've yet to have an idea I wanted badly where a song didn't eventually present itself. The process of building my new vidding computer won't even start until next month. And suddenly, not even really having the option to vid is distressing. What if the right song shows up tomorrow?!? I am attempting to deal with this by putting together an honest to god clip database in an excel spreadsheet. A thing I have gaped with awe at when other vidders do (my first vid partner made these and I thought of them a bit like magic), but I have never managed because I get bored and distracted and wander away and end up with, like, an episode and a half done (kind of like when I attempt to actually clip before I vid and give up after two hours and just start scrubbing through ALL the source as it stands in one big chunk). I dunno, maybe the inability to just wander away and cheat through to the really fun part is actually good for me? Because this database is actually closer to becoming an entire thing than I've ever managed before. Then again this show has eight freaking seasons, so I'm not patting myself on the back just yet.

If I do pull it off, I suspect that when I do have the new computer and the song, the actual vidding process might go really fast for me because I won't have to flailingly search for a single thing, I'll be able to do a quick filter search for whatever in my spreadsheet and have, like, actual timestamps in seconds. OMG, if I do find a song before the new computer is built, I might even try storyboarding. I'm vaguely fascinated to see if this theory that pre-organization and planning will end in a faster process on the back end...or if I'll just end up tossing my neatly organized plans out the window in favor of the wildly messy free for all that is my usual process the second I'm sitting in front of premiere for real.