(no subject)

[fan_eunice]

Random thoughts on vidding in the lead up to Festivid golive. The thing is, whether or not a vid gets finished rests on one question. How willing am I to be frustrated, discouraged, upset, and miserable in between the excitement of I HAVE AN IDEA, and those first few clips of magic hitting the timeline and the high that comes with an almost completed vid getting ready for polish and upload? Because that in between phase is always going to happen. Maybe there are vidders for whom a half empty timeline and no clue how this and that section are going to link up, or what to do with that troublesome lyric or whatever, don't sit and stare in the despondent belief that it is impossible to solve the problems of this vid. Who do not have to force themselves to slog through reviewing clips and arranging and rearranging the same ten seconds over and over despite this certainty of failure. Waiting on that magic moment when the solution presents itself in your sleep or while you are getting a cup of coffee, sending you back to the timeline in a frenzy of clip chucking that feels like a miracle because there it is, the shape of the finished vid.

I have only made one or two vids where this did not happen. And there's no way through it but faith in that miracle. The horrible phase may not last long (or it may persist for most of the vid), but it is brutal. It is the thing that makes vidders chuckle about how we're all insane for continuing this stupid hobby, because who would voluntarily put themselves through that? I would. Again and again and again, because no matter how low it takes me if I just keep going, a little piece of the world through my eyes comes out. And it's mine and I made it. I've failed at nearly every method of creative expression I've tried since I was a kid. Until I found this.

So maybe sometimes it may seem like I'm overzealous about vids and vidding, or that I invest too much importance in a silly three minutes of media footage set to music. But, you see, to me it is a miracle.

Comments

[celli]

You make me want to vid, even though I'm afraid of the middle part. <3

[saraht]

Creation is a miracle.

I understand why people have invoked daimons or Muses or God as the source of their creativity through time--it's because it feels like it's an inflow from something outside you and there's nothing you can do to make it come.

[kuwdora]

I love this post so much, Becca.

[laurashapiro]

Oh, the deep and ugly middle part.

::sigh::

I've had a lot of vids where it happened and I almost gave up. Increasingly, I have had vids where it hasn't happened at all -- I don't think that has anything to do with getting to be a better vidder or knowing my limits or anything like that. I think I just have a decreasing tolerance for my own bullshit. At this point, when I feel myself freaking out/reacting with dread and avoidance, I just pick a random clip and throw it on the timeline and start building from that.

Not because my standards are getting lower. Not because I don't care. But because I am just not willing to suffer.

I can't say it'll work for you, or indeed, anybody other than me. It requires a certain force of will to let go and say "You know, I don't know, and I'm frustrated, so I'm just going to grab a random thing that fits with the music here and soldier on." But it's definitely meant less frustration and whining for me.

[f1renze]

I can relate to this! For me it's a combination of vidding taking a different place in my life and the decreasing-tolerance-for-own-bullshit thing. Actually, the latter may be so powerful that it's helping with my other anxieties: After decades (really, I am not young :P) of living with chronic insomnia, I had a very good talk with my mother which led to this moment where I simply refused to even think of myself as someone with a sleeping problem. I just... stood up to it? This happened in late October and boy, have I slept. :)

[laurashapiro]

vidding taking a different place in my life

So much this!

Congratulations on conquering your insomnia, too. It sounds like you had a cinematic catharsis, which must have been amazing to experience. I'm envious -- the cat still wakes me up at 5:00 every morning.

[klia]

I've failed at nearly every method of creative expression I've tried since I was a kid. Until I found this.

So maybe sometimes it may seem like I'm overzealous about vids and vidding, or that I invest too much importance in a silly three minutes of media footage set to music. But, you see, to me it is a miracle.

A resounding YES, THIS! You know, sometimes the way we brainshare is just freaking EERIE.

[regicidaldwarf]

I've been getting excited about trying my hand at vidding lately, but I don't know what software to use. Is there free software out there that an aspiring vidder could easily get her hands on?

[franzeska]

iMovie and Windows Movie Maker. What kind of computer do you have?

[rj_anderson]

And writing is exactly the same way. My books all tend to be around 80K, and there's that horrible Slough of Despond between about 20K and 60K where I want to lay my head down and weep, or possibly just die of despair because I seem to have forgotten everything I ever knew about putting words together and the plot rambles all over the place and I can't make any of it hold together no matter what I do.

And like you say, it's only faith and hope that the magic moment will come and that at some point, things will come together that keeps you going.

I think artists of all kinds go through this when working on a project, really. I'm certain that painters and choreographers and composers have it too. And it is more than a little heartening to know, when you hit that Bog of Eternal Stench in the middle, that you aren't alone. (Though it sure feels like you are, at the time.)