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I have so much tv backed up it is ridiculous. In various states of needing to be caught up on, I have Doctor Who, Orphan Black, Person of Interest, Elementary, and Hannibal. I'm not even sure what happened. For awhile there I was marathoning entire series of things (mostly older, complete shows), and now I can't sit down and watch one episode full through of nearly anything. I think I am shifting from input to output mode. The vid idea I have is just percolating like a mad thing in my head, itching for the new computer to be built so I can work on it. But, alas, new computer is not built.
And so, in desperate need for a creative outlet...I started learning to draw awhile back. It is going far better than I ever expected considering I have spent the first 40 years of my life convinced that I had no business ever being at the end of a pencil. When I started this I was literally drawing stick figures that would embarrass a kindergartner. I'm honestly not even sure what wild hair I got up my ass to even try again. Only, no lie, a monthish later I am drawing things that look like honest to god things. I'm even drawing faces that look like real life faces. Okay, at the moment they mostly end up looking like the second cousin twice removed of the actual person I was attempting...but they aren't wonky in proportion or form and you would think they were at least related (as a bonus, I now know what my son's brother might have looked like if I had ever had a second child). I do not actually suck (entirely) at this. My stuff is still obviously that of a beginner with a long way to go, but very clearly on the way there.
And I think I know what happened, now. To wee Eunice who desperately wanted to draw and ended up bitterly throwing away all her pencils and crayons in a fit when nothing but weirdly shaped stick figures would come out. The thing is, I come from a family chock full of artists (mostly hobbyists, but with a few professionals dotting the family tree). And at least the ones I spent the most time around growing up (my mother and both brothers), are those annoying people who have an instinctive grasp of proportion and ability to translate it to paper without ever having to learn how (I hate every one of you like this). They had to learn how to refine what they did to look prettier, but not where to start. So I'd watch them just grab a pencil and make swishy movements with their hand, and magically, a cat would appear under it. Then I'd grab a pencil and make swishy movements and...a deformed lima bean with too many limbs and a 'tail' that would poke your eye out would appear. But because they just sorta did it, asking how would just end in frustrated tears for everyone, and more deformed lima beans for me. And so it was clear to me. I had zero talent and should just steer clear of even attempting.
Except, it turns out? If you start me at the very, very, very beginning. If you explain the theory behind perspective and show me how to find proportions without having to purely eyeball it (I love my ruler, I love my ruler so much). If you spell out in little tiny words how a light source affects shadows, and how to find the various planes in objects? Do that and it takes me less than a month to go swish swish with my pencil and have an accurately rendered coffee mug appear beneath it like MAGIC. Sure, I need a loooot of work with details and refining things and I haven't even attempted figures or composed scenes at all yet, though I have managed to get surfaces under things now (fruit floating in space was kind of awesome, though...I felt like I should surround them with stars and pitch it as a new sci-fi show...you know you'd totally watch Apples From Jupiter). The point is that, although I'm never going to be some amazeballs artist with talent dripping out of my every pore, I can actually draw shit if I want to. This is not a hobby that is off limits for me. And considering I don't think I'll ever get tired of that moment when you look down and the lines and shapes and shadows have transformed in to an actual thing that looks like a thing (MAGIC), I have no intention of giving it up now.
So that's a lot of what I'm doing with my time right now.
And so, in desperate need for a creative outlet...I started learning to draw awhile back. It is going far better than I ever expected considering I have spent the first 40 years of my life convinced that I had no business ever being at the end of a pencil. When I started this I was literally drawing stick figures that would embarrass a kindergartner. I'm honestly not even sure what wild hair I got up my ass to even try again. Only, no lie, a monthish later I am drawing things that look like honest to god things. I'm even drawing faces that look like real life faces. Okay, at the moment they mostly end up looking like the second cousin twice removed of the actual person I was attempting...but they aren't wonky in proportion or form and you would think they were at least related (as a bonus, I now know what my son's brother might have looked like if I had ever had a second child). I do not actually suck (entirely) at this. My stuff is still obviously that of a beginner with a long way to go, but very clearly on the way there.
And I think I know what happened, now. To wee Eunice who desperately wanted to draw and ended up bitterly throwing away all her pencils and crayons in a fit when nothing but weirdly shaped stick figures would come out. The thing is, I come from a family chock full of artists (mostly hobbyists, but with a few professionals dotting the family tree). And at least the ones I spent the most time around growing up (my mother and both brothers), are those annoying people who have an instinctive grasp of proportion and ability to translate it to paper without ever having to learn how (I hate every one of you like this). They had to learn how to refine what they did to look prettier, but not where to start. So I'd watch them just grab a pencil and make swishy movements with their hand, and magically, a cat would appear under it. Then I'd grab a pencil and make swishy movements and...a deformed lima bean with too many limbs and a 'tail' that would poke your eye out would appear. But because they just sorta did it, asking how would just end in frustrated tears for everyone, and more deformed lima beans for me. And so it was clear to me. I had zero talent and should just steer clear of even attempting.
Except, it turns out? If you start me at the very, very, very beginning. If you explain the theory behind perspective and show me how to find proportions without having to purely eyeball it (I love my ruler, I love my ruler so much). If you spell out in little tiny words how a light source affects shadows, and how to find the various planes in objects? Do that and it takes me less than a month to go swish swish with my pencil and have an accurately rendered coffee mug appear beneath it like MAGIC. Sure, I need a loooot of work with details and refining things and I haven't even attempted figures or composed scenes at all yet, though I have managed to get surfaces under things now (fruit floating in space was kind of awesome, though...I felt like I should surround them with stars and pitch it as a new sci-fi show...you know you'd totally watch Apples From Jupiter). The point is that, although I'm never going to be some amazeballs artist with talent dripping out of my every pore, I can actually draw shit if I want to. This is not a hobby that is off limits for me. And considering I don't think I'll ever get tired of that moment when you look down and the lines and shapes and shadows have transformed in to an actual thing that looks like a thing (MAGIC), I have no intention of giving it up now.
So that's a lot of what I'm doing with my time right now.