(no subject)

[fan_eunice]

heresluck wanted my three of my favorite Vividcon memories. This is hard! There are so many, Vividcon has been the highlight of my year since the first time I went and *flaily hands*. Imma go with two Vividcons which sort of sum up everything about why.

1. The first few hours of my very first Vividcon. I do not do well with strangers and new environments. Going to Vividcon at all scared the crap out of me, and at the time I'd only met heresluck and renenet in person, neither of whom would be at the hotel when I got there. I was also in the process of moving cross country and my dad was caravaning with me in the u-haul (which he would continue on with after leaving me at the hotel). sisabet was to be my roommate but also wouldn't be at the hotel until later, and I was so freaked out I asked him to walk into the hotel with me. To be honest, I was five seconds away from ditching the con altogether.

But sitting in the lobby was jackiekjono who I didn't know and didn't know me. She was eating blueberries and doing the what I now recognize as traditional Vividcon lobby arrival watch. And even though she didn't know me, she somehow recognized I was Of Her People and walked right up and introduced herself and when I kinda stood there half frozen after saying 'yes, I am here for Vividcon' cheerfully struck up a conversation with my father about his VMI t-shirt and gently brought me in without acting like I was acting weird at all and got me to sit with her and open up until my dad felt comfortable leaving me there.

And then two more ladies I did not recognize (because I did not recognize anyone) wandered by and said hi to jackie and when I mentioned my roommate would not be there until later, immediately offered to let me stash my bag in their room while I waited and herded me on to the elevator with them while introducing themselves. It was luminosity and elyn, and I had a moment of OMG when I kind of shyly told them who I was, because I'd talked to Lum online but I was not worthy. Only she immediately grabbed me into a warm hug and said how glad she was to have me there, and she really sounded like she meant it so I believed her. Up in their room they chattered away about fannish things and vids and again did not act like I was strange when I spent most of my time sitting there with a deer in the headlights thing going on. And then Lum goes 'There is someone I have to introduce you to, come with me.' And she took me to Zen's room, whom I had never crossed paths with before that moment, but who changed my life forever, because. Shoot, just read my journal from the last however many years and look for Zen.

At some point I went to see if sisabet had checked in yet and I was starting to get freaked out again because how would I even recognize her and what if she hated me and still had to share a room with me all weekend long? Which is when I stepped off the elevator and walked right past her getting on. And asked the next person if they'd seen her and they were all 'you...just stepped right by her?'. I was in the middle of working my way into a right panic and crashing bout of self-hatred about how stupid I was when Liz found me again, except she made it seem so funny in the way that she does and turned it into A Story in the way that she does and before I knew it I was in our room getting settled in and chattering away and it wasn't a disaster at all. And Vividcon was not a scary place filled with people I didn't know who would shun and reject me or turn my awkwardness into an excuse to leave me in a corner by myself for the weekend. It was a place where I belonged. And people wanted me there. And my entire life changed. <3

2. During the Cancer Year, one thing was certain. I was not going to miss Vividcon. And I didn't. Y'all, I was rough that year, but no one made me feel weird about not having eyebrows or being swollen from the steroids or basically looking and acting like death warmed over. They did, however, express care and love in the time honored tradition of fangirls everwhere. Knitting. Every time I turned around another lovingly knitted hat was being handed to me (and in the case of sisabet a knitted dalek that said 'EXTERMINATE' when you squeezed it. There was pretty much the perfect mix of caring concern and black humor (the memory of liz telling everyone I just got cancer for attention, and lum calling me a cancer ridden liar in the middle of a card game will put me on the floor laughing to this day).

Now, if you have been to Vividcon there is something about Club Vivid you know. It gets ridiculously hot and sweaty as the night goes on. Earlier that day, jarrow had been talking about how he had plans to strip off his shirt at some point and I jokingly said I was going to as well, because since I no longer had boobs. Which turned into Zen daring me to. So, in part because it was clear they didn't think I would, when the time came I did, in fact, strip off my shirt with John to an immediate wave of cheers and catcalls from the room. And I can't really dance, and I felt like shit but I sort of shuffled on to the dance floor, where Sandy came bopping up laughing her ass off and started dancing with me (well, she was dancing, I was doing the aforementioned shuffling). And with a giant grin on her face went 'that's cheating' and starting laughing again which set me off laughing. And you know what, fuck cancer because it could not take that moment ever.


And that's what Vividcon means to me, right there.