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So, I woke up at an insanely early hour and couldn't get back to sleep. 50/50 was onDemand and, despite all the reasons I was never, ever going to watch it curiosity got the better of me. Those of you shaking your heads right now all, "Eunice you know better"...yes, yes I do and I blame no one but myself. Anyway, I was surprised at how much I liked a lot of it, and how much it actually did get right. Too right in some places, the pre-surgery scene in particular captured the weight of that moment of panic, when all denial is stripped away as the anesthesia goes in, to the point where I kind of had a full body flashback and had to pause so I could shake and cry in the corner of the couch for an hour before I could hit play again. I don't need hugs for that, I knew that might happen going in and I did it anyway, and though I usually try to avoid it...in a weird way I appreciate scenes like that, because if you throw me into that state it means you're actually doing something right.
Which is part of why, dear f'list, I fucking hate the ending to this movie. Loathe. Want to punch a small puppy in the face hate. Because once again the cancer narrative dreamily flashes forward to when everything is "all better". You were sick, but now you're not and everything is okay now! Nightmares? Chronic pain and health issues? The long road back to feeling anywhere halfway decent? Pfft..there's PIZZA and a NEW GIRLFRIEND! Everything is okay now because when you get cancer you either die or you finish treatment and It's All Over Now, what is wrong with you that this is still an issue? It's not like it changes you forever or anything. Unless it's in an inspirational way where you stop and smell the daisies and Learn a Lesson about appreciating life. Whatever.
Which is part of why, dear f'list, I fucking hate the ending to this movie. Loathe. Want to punch a small puppy in the face hate. Because once again the cancer narrative dreamily flashes forward to when everything is "all better". You were sick, but now you're not and everything is okay now! Nightmares? Chronic pain and health issues? The long road back to feeling anywhere halfway decent? Pfft..there's PIZZA and a NEW GIRLFRIEND! Everything is okay now because when you get cancer you either die or you finish treatment and It's All Over Now, what is wrong with you that this is still an issue? It's not like it changes you forever or anything. Unless it's in an inspirational way where you stop and smell the daisies and Learn a Lesson about appreciating life. Whatever.
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*hugs as you want them*