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Hi ho, hi, ho it's back under the knife I go and fuck this shit, for seriously. Fuck it.
Longer version, I had my appointment with specialist this morning. He says we could do a fine needle biopsy, however the number, size, and concerning features of the nodules...plus my history of cancer.. plus my having had radiation near the neck (they did my clavicle nodes)...even a negative result would not be definitive and I'd have to do regular ultrasounds, probably more biopsies and eventually end up on the table anyway. So, pretty much the better bet is to just skip straight to surgery.
So, whatever. I need to sort out financial aid stuff with the hospital before we can schedule, but as soon as that's go, this is go. Basically what they are gonna do is slice my neck open, hack out all the concerning parts, send them to pathology while I'm still on the table, and if anything comes back fishy, remove what's left. Or alternately it's possible there isn't going to be much thyroid to save in the first place and they just take it all in one go to begin with.
I had my suspicions this is how this appointment would go since I'm friends with Dr. Google...but just, apparently guessing and knowing are different, because I am seriously pissed off right now. And I hate surgery. And cancer. Even the slacker, won't kill you kind, that I still might not have. God do I ever fucking hate cancer.
Longer version, I had my appointment with specialist this morning. He says we could do a fine needle biopsy, however the number, size, and concerning features of the nodules...plus my history of cancer.. plus my having had radiation near the neck (they did my clavicle nodes)...even a negative result would not be definitive and I'd have to do regular ultrasounds, probably more biopsies and eventually end up on the table anyway. So, pretty much the better bet is to just skip straight to surgery.
So, whatever. I need to sort out financial aid stuff with the hospital before we can schedule, but as soon as that's go, this is go. Basically what they are gonna do is slice my neck open, hack out all the concerning parts, send them to pathology while I'm still on the table, and if anything comes back fishy, remove what's left. Or alternately it's possible there isn't going to be much thyroid to save in the first place and they just take it all in one go to begin with.
I had my suspicions this is how this appointment would go since I'm friends with Dr. Google...but just, apparently guessing and knowing are different, because I am seriously pissed off right now. And I hate surgery. And cancer. Even the slacker, won't kill you kind, that I still might not have. God do I ever fucking hate cancer.
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::massive hugs::
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Love you.
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Being left alone sounds wonderful. The rational part of me recognizes that the odds that I will finally be left alone go up dramatically once this is over. I just..don't wanna.
*stomps foot*
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So much to hate. So much.
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Medical bullshit can just go away *any time now*
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Cancer can go fuck a nuclear reactor. Without protection.
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Fuck cancer. FUCK cancer.
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{{{You}}}
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For what it's worth, I'm furious on your behalf. Fuck cancer, indeed.
But YOU I send warm squishy hugs and virtual cookies.
*hugs*
*more hugs for good measure*
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Just. I would like to be done now.
*accepts hugs and more hugs and adds some hugs on*
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SO NOT DOWN WITH THIS SHIT.
If you need me to come up there and dote on you or anything, just say the word and I'll be there in 30 minutes flat. I can feed you soup! And toast!
But UGH fuck this shit.
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You are super sweet. *smooshes you*
I am retreating to Haven and manpain until I'm done reeling. Will know better after the hospital financial aid stuff goes through what's the what for plans and stuff. Just...yeah, fuck this shit.
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