(no subject)

I had all these grand hopes and plans that the combination of new computer, decent internet, and change of scenery for awhile would kick me back into both a creative and social renewal in which I made stuff and talked to people (both on and offline). That did not happen. Because my brain sucks.

So anyway, not entirely sure why I'm posting now except to say that I miss you guys and I miss flailing and capslocking and making stuff for mah shows, and I really hope at some point I will be in a place where I can do that with you guys soon. Especially since lots of stuff I love is either already started up again for new seasons or will shortly. *crosses fingers*

Oh! Maybe I can post about Breaking Bad which I finally watched all five seasons of in four days to catch up to where we currently are at. There is a great deal I could and may in the future say about this show and all it's characters and narrative and holy shit and all. There is a lot about this show that is freaking brilliant for so many reasons, even (or maybe especially) while it's repeatedly punching you in the gut. For now I'm just going to say how much I appreciate, so very much, a narrative in which not only does cancer not make someone a better person, it actively spurs them on/allows them to being a worse one. There is very little I find more annoying than the Cancer Made Me A Better Person story. I haaaaaaaaaaaaate it. Having it flipped so thoroughly on it's head, where the pain and rage and fear are twisted into justification to vile and horrific behavior, feeding off the worst impulses is...I won't say nice because it's really not. But it's something. It's hard to explain, because I am really, really, really not sympathetic to Walter White at all. Fuck that guy. Nearly everything about him horrifies me. But part of the absolute horror comes from recognizing that moment in the darkest of places of rage and fear where I get it. That wasn't very cheerful, was it.