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My mood is so much better right now. It's weird, 'cause what did it was what I thought was going to be some more wallowing, I went back and was rereading all my entries from this week two years ago. And the thing that kept coming up over and over is that what I wanted most was a chance. When things looked like there was a good possibility it would be the worst news, and doctors kept making that face at me, what I wanted was this.
To be sitting here NED two years later, knowing I'd thrown everything but the kitchen sink at it, and every day clear another day closer to the magic mark. Even if it comes crashing down, I got this much when I didn't think I would. That isn't anything to sneeze at.
Maybe my birthday won't suck quite so much after all. 'Cause motherfucker, I am still here.
To be sitting here NED two years later, knowing I'd thrown everything but the kitchen sink at it, and every day clear another day closer to the magic mark. Even if it comes crashing down, I got this much when I didn't think I would. That isn't anything to sneeze at.
Maybe my birthday won't suck quite so much after all. 'Cause motherfucker, I am still here.
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*snivels*
Also, I GOT THE TIME OFF. YOU HAVE A HOUSEGUEST FOR MEMORIAL DAY.
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Worst case scenario you hang at the main house with me with bonus tiny children :D :D :D
OMG I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, I MISS YOU.
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*glomps*
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♥
(Cookies this weekend!)
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*smoosh*
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OMG your icon is made of motherfucking AWESOME.
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Here's hoping the month continues to improve! If you have internet and want to be distracted, I'm usually lurking around on IRC or AIM or just obsessively checking for DW/LJ comments. Feel free to poke me any time.
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I need to start trying to revive #vidding at some point. Usually if you remind people it is there they show up, but for some reason it dies without active nurturing.
Am watching kiddies tonight, but I think I will make a post to the vidding comms tomorrow being all HI! COME CHAT ABOUT VIDDING AND STUFF...get things going again.
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*hugsmish*
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*HUGS*
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!!!Happy Fucking Birthday!!!
Nope -- not at ALL; just want to tell you that my life is not all yuckiness and misery. I know you're afraid, and do *not* blame you. I just want to help you calm down a little, if possible. (Which, trust me, sounds weird coming out of *my* mouth.)
I don't do a lot of reading about cancer, honestly, because for me, that leads to stress. But I really do recommend Anticancer: A New Way of Life. The nicest thing you can do for your body is lower your body's stress so it can be good back to you.
But more importantly -- if you need to post about worrying, do it, and don't worry about me. And for now, Live Your Life (and finish your birthday [G]).
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\0/
♥
Fuck yeah you're still here! And we're not letting go of you easily.
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I'm glad you're still here mofo, because then I get to HUUUG YOU FOR REALSIES.
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