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We're on season 2 of Vampire Diaries and I'm...I still have lots of posts to make, but right now I'm having, well, Elena issues that I need to talk out. Which annoys me, so this is as much a hope that someone can help me hash this out so I can get over it.
So, okay, this is going to sound horrible but please keep with me for a second, Elena's refusal to forgive Damon was the thing that clarified for me just why I've been having increasing issues with her. And I want to be super, super clear here. It is NOT because I think Damon deserves forgiveness. Fuck. No. I actually do love him (which we'll get to in a second), but if anyone is a walking example of why vampires should be staked on sight and then set on fire for good measure, it's Damon. What he did to Jeremy was horrific, and that alone would justify killing him, much less not forgiving him. But...that actually is kind of my issue. Damon does five horrific things before breakfast on any given day. And Elena knows this. So why is this her breaking point? He rides into town on a wave of corpses and continues to pile up a body count well into season one, and this is not a barrier for Elena. He basically tortures, rapes, abuses, and brainwashes her best friend for months and this is not a barrier. He tries (and damn near succeeds in) killing her other best friend and this is not a barrier. He is directly responsible for that friend's grandmother dying and the release of the tomb vampires and that is not a barrier. He kills and turns Vicki because he's bored and that isn't a barrier. Hell, he kills and turns her mother and that's not enough. So why this. And the only thing I could come up with is that it's the first time he betrayed her directly.
...And that's when it clicked, what's been bugging me. That she was honest to god clueless as to why Bonnie might be upset with and avoiding her until it's spelled out in giant neon letters and even then doesn't...really get it. That she's more upset that Jeremy found out she erased his memories and might not forgive her than that she erased his memories in the first place (and honestly, I can't help but feel like that action to begin with was more about her not wanting to watch Jeremy suffer than Jeremy's suffering given that she never even considered the option of asking him if he wanted it). That she is obliviously insensitive to what Caroline is feeling on more than one occasion even aside from the 'well, whatever' ability she has to dismiss what Damon did to her. That this is a pattern. Anything that directly affects what Elena is feeling and what Elena wants is important, and everything else is just kind of white noise unless it directly intersects with that. Damon is not wrong when he says she has more in common with Katherine than she'd like to think.
And this bugs the shit out of me not because I can't love or sympathise with a character who is acting selfishly or is fucked up. On the contrary, I enjoy characters that are complicated. Where I get stuck is when I feel like the narrative wants me to think that there's nothing wrong with it, that I'm supposed to be like "Yeah, Elena is such a GOOD person, isn't she an amazing friend/sister!"....and no, no she really isn't. If I felt like I was supposed to be viewing her as a basically decent but deeply self-centered, messed up teenager making horrible life decisions that negatively impact those around her, I would probably love her more than anyone else on this show for serious. Because I get that. Hell, I'm actually interested and invested in that story. But every time I feel like the narrative is telling me I should be '\o/ Elena is so awesome' instead of 'Oh, honey, no, that's messed up, child' I balk.
I can love Damon because I don't feel obligated to excuse his being a horrible, horrible person and I can straight up call his shit horrific when it is. I can love Stefan because he pretty much locks himself in the closet and cries for four hours when he accidentally steps on a bug, and while he kind of overdoes it the narrative supports that the dude is a walking bag of destructive issues. Bonnie is genuinely conflicted about, aware of, and feels remorse for the pain she causes her friends by standing behind her principles. Jeremy is giant mass of self-destructive, out of control, messed up teenager and is presented as such. Shoot, even Caroline shows more insight into, awareness of, and attempts to confront her own flaws than Elena. And I just want...I want even the tiniest sliver of self awareness from Elena or some acknowledgement from the text that she is not actually the center of the universe and other people are more than collateral damage in her own personal drama for which she holds no responsibility. :(
And crap, that came out way rantier than I thought it would, and I honestly feel guilty even typing that up because I feel like I'm missing something, and that I'm judging her too harshly for reasons I can't quite grasp. And I really, really, really want to love her like I do pretty much everyone else on this show. HALP.
So, okay, this is going to sound horrible but please keep with me for a second, Elena's refusal to forgive Damon was the thing that clarified for me just why I've been having increasing issues with her. And I want to be super, super clear here. It is NOT because I think Damon deserves forgiveness. Fuck. No. I actually do love him (which we'll get to in a second), but if anyone is a walking example of why vampires should be staked on sight and then set on fire for good measure, it's Damon. What he did to Jeremy was horrific, and that alone would justify killing him, much less not forgiving him. But...that actually is kind of my issue. Damon does five horrific things before breakfast on any given day. And Elena knows this. So why is this her breaking point? He rides into town on a wave of corpses and continues to pile up a body count well into season one, and this is not a barrier for Elena. He basically tortures, rapes, abuses, and brainwashes her best friend for months and this is not a barrier. He tries (and damn near succeeds in) killing her other best friend and this is not a barrier. He is directly responsible for that friend's grandmother dying and the release of the tomb vampires and that is not a barrier. He kills and turns Vicki because he's bored and that isn't a barrier. Hell, he kills and turns her mother and that's not enough. So why this. And the only thing I could come up with is that it's the first time he betrayed her directly.
...And that's when it clicked, what's been bugging me. That she was honest to god clueless as to why Bonnie might be upset with and avoiding her until it's spelled out in giant neon letters and even then doesn't...really get it. That she's more upset that Jeremy found out she erased his memories and might not forgive her than that she erased his memories in the first place (and honestly, I can't help but feel like that action to begin with was more about her not wanting to watch Jeremy suffer than Jeremy's suffering given that she never even considered the option of asking him if he wanted it). That she is obliviously insensitive to what Caroline is feeling on more than one occasion even aside from the 'well, whatever' ability she has to dismiss what Damon did to her. That this is a pattern. Anything that directly affects what Elena is feeling and what Elena wants is important, and everything else is just kind of white noise unless it directly intersects with that. Damon is not wrong when he says she has more in common with Katherine than she'd like to think.
And this bugs the shit out of me not because I can't love or sympathise with a character who is acting selfishly or is fucked up. On the contrary, I enjoy characters that are complicated. Where I get stuck is when I feel like the narrative wants me to think that there's nothing wrong with it, that I'm supposed to be like "Yeah, Elena is such a GOOD person, isn't she an amazing friend/sister!"....and no, no she really isn't. If I felt like I was supposed to be viewing her as a basically decent but deeply self-centered, messed up teenager making horrible life decisions that negatively impact those around her, I would probably love her more than anyone else on this show for serious. Because I get that. Hell, I'm actually interested and invested in that story. But every time I feel like the narrative is telling me I should be '\o/ Elena is so awesome' instead of 'Oh, honey, no, that's messed up, child' I balk.
I can love Damon because I don't feel obligated to excuse his being a horrible, horrible person and I can straight up call his shit horrific when it is. I can love Stefan because he pretty much locks himself in the closet and cries for four hours when he accidentally steps on a bug, and while he kind of overdoes it the narrative supports that the dude is a walking bag of destructive issues. Bonnie is genuinely conflicted about, aware of, and feels remorse for the pain she causes her friends by standing behind her principles. Jeremy is giant mass of self-destructive, out of control, messed up teenager and is presented as such. Shoot, even Caroline shows more insight into, awareness of, and attempts to confront her own flaws than Elena. And I just want...I want even the tiniest sliver of self awareness from Elena or some acknowledgement from the text that she is not actually the center of the universe and other people are more than collateral damage in her own personal drama for which she holds no responsibility. :(
And crap, that came out way rantier than I thought it would, and I honestly feel guilty even typing that up because I feel like I'm missing something, and that I'm judging her too harshly for reasons I can't quite grasp. And I really, really, really want to love her like I do pretty much everyone else on this show. HALP.
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The thing you said she did to Jeremy? Reminded me of what Willow did to Tara. And, MAN, I never felt the same about Willow after that. Someone has to have a certain level of selfishness and narcissism to do something like that to someone they care about, and stuff like that tends to be a deal breaker for me.
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If you've only seen the first few episodes, I'd suggest giving it until at least mid-season because most of that stuff has only barely been hinted at in the very beginning. And it's actually really good, fascinating, and interesting stuff. And lots of interesting and sympathetic secondary characters like Bonnie and Caroline as their stories flesh out.
I'm having Elena issues, but the way the story spreads out as it goes on, you're not at all limited to either being invested in Elena or not in the show at all. Far from it. As things go on you have a multitude of character arcs to choose from as your inpoint :D
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My frustration comes mostly from wanting to be more invested in Elena's part of the story than I can be, because she is almost the character I would love the most if her story stepped just slightly to the side and down off the narrative pedestal. I suspect that if I wasn't interested in her at all, it would be relatively easy to just wallow in everything else and wander off for snacks when she's in focus.
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But now we're waaaay beyond that. I still see the similarities, but the storylines are so crazy twisty that I can overlook it.
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And no, Elena is so very not Buffy. Damon and pre-souled Spike would so be bowling buddies though. Oh god. LET THERE NEVER BE A UNIVERSE IN WHICH THIS IS POSSIBLE. Because that universe would shortly collapse under the weight of chaos and destruction never to recover. For that matter Stefan and Angel are never allowed to meet either because that universe would collapse under the weight of the brooding.
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It would probably be incredibly fun to watch...right up to the screaming and the blood and the death and the earth cracking apart and exploding or whatever. That last part they'd do accidentally as the result of some impulsively stupid thing they didn't really mean to go that far. Like, if there was a diety he'd be rubbing their noses in the leftover rubble going "NO, BAD VAMPIRES, NO!" while they ducked their tails between their legs and looked genuinely confused as to how that mess ended up on the carpet.
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THIS MAKES ME VERY EXCITED, OMG.
I really like your interpretation of denial a lot. I can certainly buy it, and will be using it in my headcanon henceforth, thank you :). I can even see that as intentional, but I still remain twitchy at the sense that we're not supposed to fault her for it either, or place responsibility for the consequences of it near her...and that's more my issue with the way her character is framed than anything else. The more I talk about it, though, the more comfortable I become reading Elena through the lens of Unreliable Narrator, though.
Also, OMG BONNIE ICON. <3 <3 <3 <3 If I ever do end up vidding this show my first vid will be Bonnie because I LOVE HER SO MUCH I CANNOT TEXTUALLY RENDER IT. I suspect my next tl;dr babbling post about this show will focus on her if I can find intelligent ways to express this that aren't BONNIE, BONNIE, BONNIE.
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OMG, I LOVE BONNIE SO MUCH! I mean, I love all the characters (I even loved Isobel, and everyone hates her), but I really love Bonnie a lot. If I had to pick a favorite character it would be either her or Elena. Or Caroline. Or Damon.
Or Rebekah, but you haven't met her yet.*cough* At any rate, I would definitely love to see a vid about Bonnie from you! Yay, Bonnie! \0/From:
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There was some talk over on the lj post about how the showrunners were worried that Book!Elena (and I didn't even know there were books, because apparently I live under a rock) was too selfish and vain to be sympathetic and were deliberately trying to counter that with Show!Elena? And I think it makes a lot of sense that the going to far to get the audience to like her overreaches into burying, instead of acknowledging and working, with her flaws. So it's like they are still there but are now the elephant in the room. Which...I find her flaws INTERESTING, I sincerely do. Like I also said over there I have a huge soft spot for messed up teenage girls navigating the rocky shores of growing up and making poor life decisions as a result. It's just hard to sympathetically wince when I feel like I'm being told I should be nodding approvingly.
Which is probably why I am ALL OVER Caroline in the way I'm finding it hard to be with Elena.
Also, I am weirdly giddy that there will be a character named Rebekah. That was supposed to be my name, but, for reasons involving a traumatic premature birth and the chaos that ensued, it ended up Rebecca on my birth certificate and everyone was so worn out by the DRAMA of it all by the time my parents actually noticed the error and were taking me home, they just went with it as 'eh, close enough'. :D
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Also, I am weirdly giddy that there will be a character named Rebekah. That was supposed to be my name, but, for reasons involving a traumatic premature birth and the chaos that ensued, it ended up Rebecca on my birth certificate and everyone was so worn out by the DRAMA of it all by the time my parents actually noticed the error and were taking me home, they just went with it as 'eh, close enough'. :D
And Rebekah is a great character too. She doesn't show up until season 3, but she's definitely worth the wait. :-)
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I WELCOME MY NEW OVERLORD.
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Oh, don't worry, that doesn't continue. Or at least that's my perception. She does become very aware about the consequences of her actions in S3. And it leads to some very interesting decisions.
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