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We're on season 2 of Vampire Diaries and I'm...I still have lots of posts to make, but right now I'm having, well, Elena issues that I need to talk out. Which annoys me, so this is as much a hope that someone can help me hash this out so I can get over it.
So, okay, this is going to sound horrible but please keep with me for a second, Elena's refusal to forgive Damon was the thing that clarified for me just why I've been having increasing issues with her. And I want to be super, super clear here. It is NOT because I think Damon deserves forgiveness. Fuck. No. I actually do love him (which we'll get to in a second), but if anyone is a walking example of why vampires should be staked on sight and then set on fire for good measure, it's Damon. What he did to Jeremy was horrific, and that alone would justify killing him, much less not forgiving him. But...that actually is kind of my issue. Damon does five horrific things before breakfast on any given day. And Elena knows this. So why is this her breaking point? He rides into town on a wave of corpses and continues to pile up a body count well into season one, and this is not a barrier for Elena. He basically tortures, rapes, abuses, and brainwashes her best friend for months and this is not a barrier. He tries (and damn near succeeds in) killing her other best friend and this is not a barrier. He is directly responsible for that friend's grandmother dying and the release of the tomb vampires and that is not a barrier. He kills and turns Vicki because he's bored and that isn't a barrier. Hell, he kills and turns her mother and that's not enough. So why this. And the only thing I could come up with is that it's the first time he betrayed her directly.
...And that's when it clicked, what's been bugging me. That she was honest to god clueless as to why Bonnie might be upset with and avoiding her until it's spelled out in giant neon letters and even then doesn't...really get it. That she's more upset that Jeremy found out she erased his memories and might not forgive her than that she erased his memories in the first place (and honestly, I can't help but feel like that action to begin with was more about her not wanting to watch Jeremy suffer than Jeremy's suffering given that she never even considered the option of asking him if he wanted it). That she is obliviously insensitive to what Caroline is feeling on more than one occasion even aside from the 'well, whatever' ability she has to dismiss what Damon did to her. That this is a pattern. Anything that directly affects what Elena is feeling and what Elena wants is important, and everything else is just kind of white noise unless it directly intersects with that. Damon is not wrong when he says she has more in common with Katherine than she'd like to think.
And this bugs the shit out of me not because I can't love or sympathise with a character who is acting selfishly or is fucked up. On the contrary, I enjoy characters that are complicated. Where I get stuck is when I feel like the narrative wants me to think that there's nothing wrong with it, that I'm supposed to be like "Yeah, Elena is such a GOOD person, isn't she an amazing friend/sister!"....and no, no she really isn't. If I felt like I was supposed to be viewing her as a basically decent but deeply self-centered, messed up teenager making horrible life decisions that negatively impact those around her, I would probably love her more than anyone else on this show for serious. Because I get that. Hell, I'm actually interested and invested in that story. But every time I feel like the narrative is telling me I should be '\o/ Elena is so awesome' instead of 'Oh, honey, no, that's messed up, child' I balk.
I can love Damon because I don't feel obligated to excuse his being a horrible, horrible person and I can straight up call his shit horrific when it is. I can love Stefan because he pretty much locks himself in the closet and cries for four hours when he accidentally steps on a bug, and while he kind of overdoes it the narrative supports that the dude is a walking bag of destructive issues. Bonnie is genuinely conflicted about, aware of, and feels remorse for the pain she causes her friends by standing behind her principles. Jeremy is giant mass of self-destructive, out of control, messed up teenager and is presented as such. Shoot, even Caroline shows more insight into, awareness of, and attempts to confront her own flaws than Elena. And I just want...I want even the tiniest sliver of self awareness from Elena or some acknowledgement from the text that she is not actually the center of the universe and other people are more than collateral damage in her own personal drama for which she holds no responsibility. :(
And crap, that came out way rantier than I thought it would, and I honestly feel guilty even typing that up because I feel like I'm missing something, and that I'm judging her too harshly for reasons I can't quite grasp. And I really, really, really want to love her like I do pretty much everyone else on this show. HALP.
So, okay, this is going to sound horrible but please keep with me for a second, Elena's refusal to forgive Damon was the thing that clarified for me just why I've been having increasing issues with her. And I want to be super, super clear here. It is NOT because I think Damon deserves forgiveness. Fuck. No. I actually do love him (which we'll get to in a second), but if anyone is a walking example of why vampires should be staked on sight and then set on fire for good measure, it's Damon. What he did to Jeremy was horrific, and that alone would justify killing him, much less not forgiving him. But...that actually is kind of my issue. Damon does five horrific things before breakfast on any given day. And Elena knows this. So why is this her breaking point? He rides into town on a wave of corpses and continues to pile up a body count well into season one, and this is not a barrier for Elena. He basically tortures, rapes, abuses, and brainwashes her best friend for months and this is not a barrier. He tries (and damn near succeeds in) killing her other best friend and this is not a barrier. He is directly responsible for that friend's grandmother dying and the release of the tomb vampires and that is not a barrier. He kills and turns Vicki because he's bored and that isn't a barrier. Hell, he kills and turns her mother and that's not enough. So why this. And the only thing I could come up with is that it's the first time he betrayed her directly.
...And that's when it clicked, what's been bugging me. That she was honest to god clueless as to why Bonnie might be upset with and avoiding her until it's spelled out in giant neon letters and even then doesn't...really get it. That she's more upset that Jeremy found out she erased his memories and might not forgive her than that she erased his memories in the first place (and honestly, I can't help but feel like that action to begin with was more about her not wanting to watch Jeremy suffer than Jeremy's suffering given that she never even considered the option of asking him if he wanted it). That she is obliviously insensitive to what Caroline is feeling on more than one occasion even aside from the 'well, whatever' ability she has to dismiss what Damon did to her. That this is a pattern. Anything that directly affects what Elena is feeling and what Elena wants is important, and everything else is just kind of white noise unless it directly intersects with that. Damon is not wrong when he says she has more in common with Katherine than she'd like to think.
And this bugs the shit out of me not because I can't love or sympathise with a character who is acting selfishly or is fucked up. On the contrary, I enjoy characters that are complicated. Where I get stuck is when I feel like the narrative wants me to think that there's nothing wrong with it, that I'm supposed to be like "Yeah, Elena is such a GOOD person, isn't she an amazing friend/sister!"....and no, no she really isn't. If I felt like I was supposed to be viewing her as a basically decent but deeply self-centered, messed up teenager making horrible life decisions that negatively impact those around her, I would probably love her more than anyone else on this show for serious. Because I get that. Hell, I'm actually interested and invested in that story. But every time I feel like the narrative is telling me I should be '\o/ Elena is so awesome' instead of 'Oh, honey, no, that's messed up, child' I balk.
I can love Damon because I don't feel obligated to excuse his being a horrible, horrible person and I can straight up call his shit horrific when it is. I can love Stefan because he pretty much locks himself in the closet and cries for four hours when he accidentally steps on a bug, and while he kind of overdoes it the narrative supports that the dude is a walking bag of destructive issues. Bonnie is genuinely conflicted about, aware of, and feels remorse for the pain she causes her friends by standing behind her principles. Jeremy is giant mass of self-destructive, out of control, messed up teenager and is presented as such. Shoot, even Caroline shows more insight into, awareness of, and attempts to confront her own flaws than Elena. And I just want...I want even the tiniest sliver of self awareness from Elena or some acknowledgement from the text that she is not actually the center of the universe and other people are more than collateral damage in her own personal drama for which she holds no responsibility. :(
And crap, that came out way rantier than I thought it would, and I honestly feel guilty even typing that up because I feel like I'm missing something, and that I'm judging her too harshly for reasons I can't quite grasp. And I really, really, really want to love her like I do pretty much everyone else on this show. HALP.
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And no, Elena is so very not Buffy. Damon and pre-souled Spike would so be bowling buddies though. Oh god. LET THERE NEVER BE A UNIVERSE IN WHICH THIS IS POSSIBLE. Because that universe would shortly collapse under the weight of chaos and destruction never to recover. For that matter Stefan and Angel are never allowed to meet either because that universe would collapse under the weight of the brooding.
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It would probably be incredibly fun to watch...right up to the screaming and the blood and the death and the earth cracking apart and exploding or whatever. That last part they'd do accidentally as the result of some impulsively stupid thing they didn't really mean to go that far. Like, if there was a diety he'd be rubbing their noses in the leftover rubble going "NO, BAD VAMPIRES, NO!" while they ducked their tails between their legs and looked genuinely confused as to how that mess ended up on the carpet.
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